Page 52 of The Loathing

I try, but I can’t not look at Titus as I pass him, and I see the harshness of his face slip when he sees the single tear that rolls down my cheek. I feel his fingers grab the thin material of my cardigan, but I pull my arm away and storm through the kitchen, ignoring the glances and worried gasps from the staff that are preparing dinner. I feel the burn in my throat, like an iron pole alight and burning in my windpipe causing me to gasp as I push out of the double French doors and into the heavy downpour of rain. I can hear his voice in the background calling after me, but I ignore him. I push forward, the rain belting onto my skin but it feels good. I scream loud, the air escaping my lungs until I can’t scream anymore.

“Amora!” he shouts again, I shake my head from side to side and begin to run towards the lake.

“Leave me alone,” I shout out but I can hear him behind me. His arm wraps around my waist and he pulls me back into him, my back hitting his chest hard.

“Get off me,” I grit, my hands moving over his as I try with all my might to pull him from me.

“No,” his voice is low, and his grip tightens.

“Please Titus.” I plea, my voice breaking, “please just let me go, I need to be by myself…”

“I’m not going anywhere,” his other arm wraps around me.

“I don’t want you here, I don’t need you here.” I lash out at him.

“I know you don’t but I am here, so let me,” his voice is soft, not an ounce of anger to his tone at all.

My whole body shudders as I choke out the tears. Anger consumes me and my legs finally give out, buckling beneath me as I fall to the ground and Titus doesn’t stop my fall. I let the rain fall down around me, my head tipping back as the tears still escape and roll down the side of my face, but now the rain washes them away.

“Amora,” I hear Titus’ voice.

He is always there. Five steps, four steps, three steps… it doesn’t matter. He is always there whether I want him there or not.

I am angry. I am so fucking angry.

I ignore him.

“Twilight…” I feel his breath on my face, and when I open my eyes, his nose is inches from mine, his beautiful blue eyes scanning over me, his hands cup my face as he holds me still so I have no other choice but to look at him. He is on his knees dripping wet, the rain drops running down his nose and falling in between us and I feel my chin begin to wobble.

I feel humiliated.

My freedom slowly being taken, and I have no control over it.

He doesn’t care.

Trust? I scoff, then choke on my own breath. How can I trust him? All he has done is lie to me.

And realisation hits me.

My worst fear is unfolding in front of me.

I’m a prisoner.

He is making me a prisoner in my own home.

The place I am meant to feel most safe, he is making a real-life hell.

Titus drops his hands from my face, and I instantly miss his touch. His hands slip down the side of my body before his long arms envelope around me and he pulls me into his lap and holds me there until I am ready.

We’re both silent. Both soaking wet.

And I have never felt safer than I do right here, right now whilst wrapped in his embrace.

“I’ve got you, Twilight…” he says softly, his lips pressing into the top of my head and I listen to his racing heart that beats beneath his wet, white tee. “I’ve got you. You’re my priority Amora. I am here for you and only you…” he breathes, and I feel another soft kiss on the top of my wet, red hair. I slowly lift my head from his chest, my wide, reddened and glassy eyes find his and my heart stutters in my chest.

“You promise?” I whisper, scared of these feelings that have slowly crept inside my chest and set up camp.

“I promise Twilight. It’s all about you. I won’t let anyone get to you, I won’t let anyone upset you again…”

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