Page 28 of The Loathing

My mouth drops agape, my eyes widen as I just stare at him.

“What the fuck goes on in your head?” I question, my brows furrowing as I try and make sense of the stupidity of him.

“Not a lot, but, you know… it’s not unheard of now is it,” he wiggles his brows before turning and heading towards his kitchen. I hear Arizona give a heavy sigh and I am beginning to contemplate my choice of babysitter.

“I can take you to Nate’s if you want,” my voice is low as we follow Keaton.

“It’ll be fine, you know what he is like,” she smirks. “Always trying to get a rise out of people.” I nod. “And you, old man fell right into his trap.”

I scoff, shaking my head from side to side as Keaton gets two cups out for coffee.

Driving away from Keaton’s my heart felt like it was shattering in my chest. I hated that I had left her, and I know I have issues still feeling this way after twenty-one years, but it can’t be helped. She is my pride and joy. My whole world revolves around her. It’s been me and her, that is all she has known.

I sigh as I look at the time, still in two minds whether or not to pick the girl up or just go home, load the car up and head to the hotel then let a glass of whiskey comfort me.

Pulling up outside my house I decided on the latter, reaching for my phone I found her number and gave her a call explaining that I had to take a rain check. She was cool, and it helped ease my small amount of guilt at blowing her off.

After a quick shower, I dressed in jeans and a tee before dragging a hoodie over my head. I went through my bags another five times to make sure I had everything I needed. I knew that if I had forgot something, at least I could go and get bits over in England. Zipping my cases up again, I grab both of them and bump them down the stairs before grabbing my large duffel bag and backpack. I stilled as I opened the front door, the cool evening breeze blowing through, and I exhale slowly. I had no idea how long I was going to be gone for and I already felt slightly homesick.

But I needed to make sure Amora stayed safe. I had to remember why I took this job and let the fire in my belly burn. I was going to make sure I keep her safe.

As much as Arizona is my priority here, as soon as I am on English soil, Amora will be my priority.

I will protect her with all that I have.

I was hired for a reason; I know I’m good at my job, but I feel like for Xavier and Amora I need to be better. I need to be the best I can be.

The drive to the hotel was smooth, I hardly hit any traffic and I got lost in my country music. Not many people knew that it was my favorite. It was always a dream of mine when I was a teen to move out to the country a little more, but it seemed back then that the country life wasn’t for me. I still would happily give all of this up to live in Montana in the mountains, or somewhere with an amazing view and live on a ranch with my daughter and maybe, a wife. But it seems my romantic days are over. I can’t see me settling down and I am okay with that because I sacrificed all of that for Arizona.

I didn’t unpack but made sure my travel clothes for tomorrow and my pyjamas were nestled on top of the duffle bag. I laid on the hotel bed, ankles crossed and back resting against the headboard as I went through the file again that Xavier had sent me. Something doesn’t add up. I was told that Amora was taken by the brothers, but she was dumped back on his doorstep the next day with a note that said ‘Remember the deal, Xavier. One night will turn into forever if you don’t follow through.’.

But Amora, as far as I am aware is still with Xavier and that’s where I am hoping she will stay until I get there.

I have been kept in the dark pretty much since then, all I knew was that I needed to be there. I wanted to ask questions, but I thought it would be better to do it in person and face to face with Xavier when I am there.

I sigh, closing the file and reaching for my whiskey, I bring the rim of the thick glass to my lips and take a mouthful, an appreciative groan escaping me as the warm amber liquor coats my tongue before warming my throat.

Checking my phone, I tap out a quick message to Arizona wishing her goodnight, I wait for a moment or so to see if she replies but my message stays unread. I know her block of shifts rolls round tomorrow so I am hoping she is fast asleep.

Sleep doesn’t come easy, but after a few more whiskeys, I soon drift off into a dreamless sleep.

My alarm screeches, and it takes me a moment or so to realize where I am. I slowly let my eyes scan the room and adjust to the dim sunlight that is peeping through the slatted blinds. Sighing, I throw the comforter back and head for the shower. I need to wake myself up. I feel groggy and I know it’s because of the crappy night sleep I had plus the whiskeys that are currently splitting my head in two. Twisting the shower dial, I keep my hand running underneath it until it gets to the temperature I want. Pushing down my shorts, I kick them off and pull my tee over my head before stepping under the scalding water. I lather my skin and apprehension begins brewing deep inside of me. I can’t help but feel like I am walking into a trap, but I don’t know why. Trying to push the gut wrenching feeling back and deep inside of me, I rinse myself off and step out the shower. I don’t hang about; I pull my clothes on and slip on my Hublot watch. I contemplate messaging Arizona but decide against it. I didn’t want to interrupt her while she was working. I would text her once I am settled on the plane.

Once I am happy that everything is packed up, I give the room one last scope before slipping out the door and letting it softly close. Checking out, I grab my keys from the valet service and kick it towards the airport.

I had numerous feelings floating around but I was trying to drown all of them out by turning my music up so loud I was sure my ears were going to bleed. Pulling into the park and stay, I check in and hand my keys over.

“Mr. King,” the concierge gives me a tight nod as he passes me a clipboard, tagging my keys.

I scan through it and sign at the bottom.

“And it’s still okay for my friend to pick my car up in the next couple of days? I have no idea how long I am going to be away for.”

“That’s fine Mr. King, we will keep your bill running until your friend comes to collect it, Mr. Mills, isn’t it?”

“Perfect. Yes, that’s it.” My voice is low as I hand him back the clipboard and turn on my heel. Swallowing down my nerves, I pace towards the terminal. This was my first time out of the country, my first time leaving my daughter behind and in the care of my friend. I felt ridiculous for being as anxious as I was, but it was understandable right? This was a big deal. She was my baby. Even at twenty-one.

It was all good until I was summoned over to England. That wasn’t the original plan. But Amora fills my mind and my heart sinks. If this was Arizona in this situation, I would do what was right for her, not anyone else. And that’s what I needed to keep thinking. What if I was in this awful, shitty situation like Xavier was.

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