Page 25 of The Loathing

I scoff, shaking my head softly before inhaling deeply and stalking into the house, my mood slowly creeping back into my sombre one.

I lay on my bed, earphones pushed in as music plays but I’m not listening. I am too lost in my own thoughts at how the next few weeks are going to go. I have no idea what my father has planned with Titus, all I know is he will be my personal bodyguard. No going out, no one coming into the house… The Knight Brothers know my father’s whereabouts and what I don’t understand is they would have already started the war if they wanted to so why now? Why is this suddenly a big deal. My father would never tell me the truth, he would keep me in the dark until the very last minute if he needed to. I know he means well and all he wants to do is protect me, but he isn’t going to be here forever. What if the big bad men come after me again and he isn’t here? What then?

Groaning, I roll onto my back and let my eyes pin to the ceiling.

The way my mother stammered over her words back at the lake has my mind reeling and I feel like something else is coming.

I don’t hear the knock on the door, I am too far away in my head when I see it push open and my father with the same eyes as mine seek me out.

Lifting my head for a moment, I let it drop back down again as I pull the earphone from my ear and rest up on my elbows.

“Amora, darling,” my father’s voice is low and gruff as he sits on the edge of the bed.

“Yup,” I roll my eyes. He doesn’t turn his head to look at me and I watch as his shoulders sag.

“I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you by doing this,” his voice is barely audible as he chokes out his words. “Everything I’ve done and everything I will continue to do is in the interest of my family. It may not seem fair to you, that you’re the one who has to lose so much but it is necessary. The boys are older, they’re going to work alongside me to stop these assholes from getting to you, but you, my sweet Amora…” he twists round, his knee bent up on the bed, his eyes pinning to mine, “I need you safe, and I can’t personally do that hence why I have hired Titus.”

I don’t say anything, I ignore the burning in my throat from the lump that has wedged itself there, firmly.

“They owed me a favour, and that favour was guarding you twenty-four-seven until the threat is gone.”

“And what if…”

“They’ll be gone,” my father nods firmly, his eyes hollow. He looks so God damn tired. He’s aged, his dirty blonde hair now scattered with grey, his once thick beard looks thinner somehow with flecks of ginger and grey entwined through. His facial lines dig a little deeper showing his age, my once fiery father is slowly withering in front of me. “You’re not going to like it—hell, you’re going to hate it—but I need you to do this for me. I won’t ask a lot from you in my lifetime, but this is one ask I am demanding of you,” his voice is low, and I watch as he rolls his lips, his shoulders lifting high and dropping low as he intakes his breath.

“Okay,” I whisper, unsure what I am agreeing to but for my father to sit here in front of me like a broken man is enough for me to agree to sign my life away if that’s what he needed.

He stands, walking round the edge of the bed until he is standing next to my head and where I am laying, he says no more, my eyes lift to his causing my chin to lift and I watch as he bends, lowering his head down until he presses his lips against my forehead, lingering for a moment.

“I love you, petal,”

“I love you more,” I whisper to the room, I hear a low hum before he stands. “Oh, and Dad,” I call out and he turns to face me, can you say sorry to mum for me please?” I ignore the prick I feel behind my eyes.

“Darling, your mother understands more than you know…” he trails off for a moment, his eyes on me, “But of course I will.” He gives a soft nod and I smile as I watch him walk out of my room. My erratic heart begins to slow, and I steady my trembling breath before gently sitting up and letting my legs hang over the side of the bed. I feel numb, but then again, I have no idea what to feel. I know my father has my best interests at heart, but I am also being kept out of the loop. His little bit of father daughter time just then and my mother stammering over her words earlier makes me wonder whether there is something going on in the background that I am not party to.

Annoyed by my own thoughts, I push up just as my bedroom door opens and I see Xander step towards me, his eyes pinned to mine.

“Hey,” his voice is quiet, he takes another stride towards me before he looks over his shoulder sheepishly.

My eyes roam over him and if it wasn’t for the age difference, you would think we were twins. We both have our mother’s red hair and our father’s eyes. One blue, one brown. They thought my eyes would stay blue but they began to change when I was four and now I match with Xander and my father.

“Hey,” I mumble back as he stands tall, his hand rubbing the back of his head.

“Look, I just wanted to come and see if you were okay…” he takes another step closer.

“Oh, I am glorious,” sarcasm drips from my tone and I walk towards him.

“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you,” he smirks, his eyes following me as I reach him.

“Well, that’s just your opinion,” I beam and go to push past him but he doesn’t let me, he wraps his long arm around me and pulls me in for a brotherly embrace.

“We’ve got you,” he whispers into my hair, placing a kiss on the top of my head.

“I know,” my brows furrow as I place my hands on his chest and push him away giving him a confused look. “What’s going on?” I ask when I see Ezekiel round the corner and step into the room, his eyes moving between me and Xander.

“Hey, do I not get a hug?” he chimes, smirking as he bounds over, enveloping me in his arms. Ezekiel was a spitting image of my dad, just without the beard or his colour eyes. He had mother’s ice blue colour.

“You all set?” Ezekiel asks as he looks round the room, his brows pinching.

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