Page 138 of The Loathing

I feel my eyes prick with burning tears.

“I wish it could be that way… but…” a silent tear rolls down my cheek and he catches it with his thumb, swiping it away. “Just not in this life,” my lip trembles.

“Baby, one life will never be enough for me and you,” his thumb runs across my bottom lip as he kneels between my legs, his fingers wrapping round the back of my head as he holds me, so I have no other choice but to look at him.

“I’m yours Little Red, in this life, in the next… I’ll be yours in every damn lifetime,” his nose rubs against mine, “whether I have to be yours in secret, or not, baby, I’m yours.”

“I’m yours,” I clasp his face in my hands, his crystal blue eyes glistening in the sunset. “Always. I love you,” I just about manage before his lips crash into mine, we hold each other in an embrace as we savour every moment of what feels like our last kiss.

We break, panting and my insides screaming with want, his thumb drags along my lip once more and I have to control myself. His hungry eyes roam over my heaving chest and as much as I want him, all of him, I can’t. We can’t. Placing my hand on his chest, I shake my head from side to side.

“I need to know what we’re going to do…” I pause as I glide my hand down his chest before moving it over to my non-existent bump. “About this.”

His eyes widen as they move from my hand to my face.

“Nothing, we’re going to do nothing because this farce is going to be over and you’re going to have our baby.”

I try and swallow the lump down as the tears threaten to fall, the ground falling away beneath me and my heart obliterating in my chest. “Titus,” I manage, “this…” I gesture my finger between the both of us, “it’s never going to happen… the sooner we accept that, the better it will be for both of us. I’m yours… just not in this lifetime. I love you with every fibre deep inside of me but…” I sniffle, swallowing the thickness away. “I’m marrying Wolfe Knight.”

And I watch as he falls back, his lips parted and I know he is hurting, but it has to be like this.

I have to break his heart, just like I have broken my own.

* * *

The last few days have passed in a blur, Titus has been by my side but neither of us have spoken a single word to each other.

I cleanse and moisturise my face when I see Titus in the doorway, glowering over at me.

“You need to meet Wolfe and Hunter downstairs… now.”

I nod, my heart cracking as I stand and walk towards the man I love, but he turns away as I approach him. I stand still for just a moment and let my eyes close, imagining his fingers are laced within mine just so I get the hit I so desperately crave from him.

Inhaling deeply, I begin to walk to the dining room to join both brothers. I have no idea why I am meeting them as we haven’t eaten together in weeks. Most nights I skip dinner and stay in my room, but tonight, I can’t hide away.

Titus steps in front of me, his eyes meeting mine and I can’t help but feel that he knows what this is about, but he is keeping me in the dark. He twists the doorknob and opens it into the room where I see my husband to be sitting there, huge grin on his face and hungry eyes.

“You look beautiful Amora, you’re glowing,” he stands as I take my seat next to him. “Staying away from you is getting more and more hard as the days go on, but,” he exhales, “I did promise your father I wouldn’t fuck you until we’re married,” and I choke on my own breath. “But it seems that day is going to be getting a little closer now…” one corner of his lips lift and I see his eyes shift to Titus before they land back on me. “I have not long got off the phone with your father…” he pauses, and my pulse quickens, I sit up a little taller and let my hands fall from the table and into my lap. Hunter’s eyes move between me and Titus the whole time as if he is trying to work something out. “I must say… it was an interesting call… a very interesting turn of events.”

He’s outed me.

He’s outed us.

My palms begin to dampen, and I slowly rub them on the skirt of my dress.

“Oh really?” my voice is a little higher than normal and I hate that I can’t control my nerves that are currently ripping through me.

“Really” he grins, his eyes darkening as he reaches for his wine. I slowly turn my head to the side and glance at Titus who looks tense, his shoulders are high, his leg is bobbing up and down and his fingers are locked together, tightly.

“Xavier demanded the wedding be brought forward, he doesn’t want to wait anymore to be rid of you once and for all… so, without further ado.”

And my heart drops from my chest.

“You’ll be my wife next weekend, seven days to go… and I can’t wait to finally fuck and claim you as my own. Titus will be gone,” Wolfe’s eyes trail over to Titus, “that part of the deal will be over so no more loitering bodyguard. I’ll get you all to myself and trust me, I am so looking forward to fucking you so hard that I make you bleed. No one will ever touch you again, I’ll ruin you for any other man.” His hand grabs mine, tugging me towards his lips and places a kiss on the back of my hand, “Oh, little monster… the things I will do to you.”

Perspiration beads on my forehead, I am desperate to face Titus because I know deep down he is reeling inside, he will be furious at the words that are coming from Wolfe’s mouth.

“And then I’ll get you pregnant until you can’t take anymore, little Knight heirs to continue my legacy…” he drops my hand abruptly and it hits the table. “Maybe I’ll share you with Hunter, you can spawn some of his children as well.”

---