Page 120 of The Loathing

I knew I had fallen.

But fuck, did I fall.

Head over heels.

I know it’s quick; fuck, I would be delusional if I didn’t see what was happening right in front of me, but Amora has drawn me in. I have been blinded in this whirlwind, her love like a tornado. Destroying everything and anything in her path until she consumed me whole. I wouldn’t have even been able to stop it if I wanted to. I didn’t see it coming. No one would have.

We fell that fast.

If she ever asked me to hang the moon for her, I would hang it all. The moon, the stars, the galaxies and everything beyond.

Because she deserved it all.

She had my heart.

From the moment she said hello, I fell.

I know she’s my soulmate, my person.

But now; now I have to watch her marry someone else. The one person who gave me back the light in my never-ending darkness wasn’t mine anymore.

And with that, my light slowly burned back into darkness.

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

AMORA

Walking the grounds, the sun is sitting low in the pink sky as dusk threatens. Titus is here, always five steps behind and I let my hands relax by my side, my fingers spreading slightly and I’m imagining his fingers are brushing mine, our own secret that no one else has to know.

“Titus.”

“Yeah,” and I instantly miss the Little Red, Twilight… Baby.

“Walk with me, please?” I stop, looking over my bare shoulder, my fingers playing with the frilly hem of my dusty, ditsy daisy pink sun dress, the frill of the straps sitting just off my shoulders and at the top of my arm.

“Of course,” and as soon as he is close, I feel as if I can breathe properly for the first time in weeks.

“How are you?” my voice cracks a little, but I keep my eyes forward. My wavy, red hair blowing softly in the wind. I push it away from my face using my hand.

“I’m okay,” his tone is flat and I know that he isn’t okay. Neither of us are.

“That’s good to hear,” I nod as we continue through the meadow, my fingers brushing along the wildflowers and long grass.

“And you?”

“I’m getting there,” I admit, even though we both know it’s a lie. I am not getting there; I’ll never be there. How can you get over the love of your life?

He says nothing, there is nothing to say. We carry on forward and I stop for a moment, looking at my surroundings and I miss the lake back home.

My favourite place with my favourite person.

But now I’ll have to find a new favourite place without him.

My chest aches and I ignore the need to rub it with my palm.

“How’s your daughter getting on?” I ask as I begin walking again, my eyes falling between us and I notice his hand is relaxed and by his side.

“She’s doing well, I spoke to her this morning. She is coming up for her break between shifts so hopefully she’ll get some sleep and see her friends. Her job is quite lonely with her long hours so she isolates herself which I don’t like, but what do I know?”

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