Page 99 of Doctor I Do

I’m upset with myself. And at life.

Why can’t it give me a break?

As I sit in the silence of the taxi, I think over how this is the first time in a while I’ve felt alone again, and I hate it. But I deserve it.

I deserve this soul-crushing feeling.

With only myself to blame.

I pick up my phone and try to write a message. The heaviness hits me and a tear leaks as I type.

Tahlia: My parents found out about the fake engagement, and they are selling my stake of the business. I’m going to my own place. I’m so sorry for dragging you through this mess. I bet you hate me.

He’s reading it already, and the dots bounce.

Alex: Don’t be sorry. I’m not sorry. It got me a girlfriend. I could never hate you. I love you. You’ve brought me so much joy. What time will you be home? I’m still at work but when I get home from the hospital we can talk then. I don’t want to talk through texts.

More tears roll down my cheeks. What time will you be home? As if it’s my house, too. One I don’t deserve. God, I have fallen head over heels in love with Alex, and it’s all going to be over.

I can’t face him right now. I’m too fragile. I don’t want to look into another pair of disappointed eyes. I also don’t want to have a discussion about the text message either. I’m too exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster day.

Tahlia: I love you too. I’m here with Maddy so I’m going to crash at my old place tonight.

I don’t see any dots bouncing, and I’m about to close my phone, when he finally replies. And my heart drops.

Alex: Ok.

But I asked for this. I just need to get my head right and figure out my next steps. I drop my phone into my bag and sob into my hands until the driver tells me we’ve arrived. Looking out the window, I sniffle and hand over the cash, then I drag myself up the path to my old place again. I open the door, and Maddison calls out.

“Hello? T, I hope that’s you.”

“It is.” I close the door behind me and kick off my shoes, walking directly to the kitchen. I need wine and TV.

Neither is going to help me figure out any future steps, but I just want to relax and zone out and stop mulling over Alex and my parents.

“By looking at you and the fact you’re getting wine and you’re not at Alex’s, shit has gone wrong.”

I pour myself a glass. And then lift the bottle in her direction.

She nods. “Drinking alone is sad. And you look like someone already told you Santa isn’t real.”

I pour her a good helping before walking to the sofa and sitting down.

“Are you going to talk, or am I mind reading?” she says, taking her spot on the sofa.

Flicking my gaze to her, I take a gulp of the wine. “So, to keep this short, my parents are selling my stake of the business to an investor. I can’t go through with the wedding if they won’t support it. It doesn’t feel right. I want my parents to be there.”

“They’re upset I get it. Sheesh. Like, I kinda get it, but it’s your parents; they’re supposed to be there for you.”

“I know, but it’s not like we’ve had a great relationship. They wanted to control my life. And everything had a hidden agenda. Well, until recently. Until I had a stake and interest in Emerald Designs, and I had a fiancé.”

“It had to benefit them,” Maddison adds.

“Exactly. This was the first time it worked in my favor…until it didn’t.”

“But you and Alex are dating now. Did you tell them?”

“Yep, but they didn’t care. They said they can’t believe I would come up with a twisted plan to deceive them,” I say, the image of my dad’s icy gaze flashing through my mind. He didn’t believe a word I said. I broke their trust.

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