Page 64 of Doctor I Do

A deep chuckle leaves his chest. “That I do.”

We fall into a comfortable silence and watch the TV show. I’m surprised when his hand tugs gently on my hair tie. When he frees my strands, I moan at his touch. He rubs his hand along my scalp with a massage, easing the stupid headache throbbing in my temples.

I struggle to keep my eyes open with how good it feels. The simple atmosphere of us being here feels natural, and it should scare me. The fact it could ruin my journey to find a stable career for myself.

But it’s not.

I stand behind Alex as he opens the door to welcome Mike and Alice inside for coffee. Alex doesn’t seem the least bit uneasy. I’m not uncomfortable, but this does feel a tad strange between us—almost domesticated.

“Hi, T,” Alice greets me with a smug smile and a twinkle in her eye. What is that about?

I don’t get any time to think about it, though, because Mike is coming over to say hi.

Once inside, I head back to the kitchen to prepare snacks and Alice is quick to add that she’ll join me. Adding to my curiosity if she’s doing okay.

The boys go to the living room with the baby, leaving me and Alice alone.

I’m elated to have a friend over and just not think about Alex and the whiplash I’m getting. The moments of him stroking my back or running his hands through my hair. I wonder what he would be like in the bedroom. Would he be gentle or rough? The latter causes my sex to tingle. I really don’t need more sexual frustration, as I’m borderline close to crying, or worse, begging for him to touch me just once.

And that would be utterly mortifying. I have never begged for sex from a guy, but with Alex, I’m contemplating it.

Why?

What’s so different about him?

All I know is he’s a player, but other than his words, his actions around me have been anything but. I don’t know if it’s just him pushing me away, or if he really is a commitment-phobe.

I may not have my shit together, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t wanted the perfect husband and children. And playing fiancée in this house is all too sweet.

Maybe if we had sex, I’d get over the fantasy. And the flutters will disappear.

But what if they don’t…

I shake my head. I can’t think about any of this anymore. I need to remember he isn’t interested in a relationship. I can just push the silly feelings aside, and they will go away as soon as this deal is done and we are back to our old lives.

I shudder.

Old life…

I don’t miss that.

Maybe instead of coffee, I should have something stronger. But then bile leaves my stomach at the thought of my head in the toilet.

Yeah. No.

There will be no alcohol today.

“It’s so good to see you. How’s life with Ethan?” I ask Alice with a warm smile.

“Wonderful, for the most part. But I can’t pretend it’s always great, because when I’m awake every two hours, I wonder why I did this to myself.”

She laughs, and I’m unable to hold back my own laugh at her honesty. “I guess it’s better than my life. Faking a relationship to get my inheritance.”

She reaches out to touch my shoulder, gently squeezing it. “Don’t be like that. You’ve needed to find yourself.”

“I know.” I grimace. “Even in this gorgeous place, it doesn’t change the fact I need to figure out my life. Changing the house doesn’t change my situation.”

It’s quiet for a moment before she nods. “And how’s everything going since we last spoke?” Alice asks in a low voice.

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