Page 70 of Doctor I Do

“You don’t hate it…hmmm…interesting.”

I try to bite my lips to prevent a smile, but I can’t help it and a small smile breaks through. “It’s cute and funny.” And totally suits him.

“Are you actually falling for your fake fiancé?”

“No!” I scoff.

But I sound unconvincing, even to my own ears.

Maddison gives me the biggest side-eye.

“I'm not! I just think he’s hot, and I'm…” I sigh, not wanting to say the word out loud.

“Horny,” she guesses.

“Yeah, that,” I mumble, embarrassed.

She laughs. “You can’t even say the word. And yet we’re about to walk into a sex shop. This will be interesting.”

“Maddy, this is embarrassing,” I whisper-shout, palming my head.

“Well, we could go to Luxe and find a real guy,” she suggests, as if it’s just that easy.

I purse my lips. The thought of another guy’s hands on me feels completely wrong. “It’s not allowed. It's part of our contract,” I say.

She snorts. “Fuck, that’s such a shit deal. Well, here’s to finding the best dildo the shop can offer.”

I scrunch my face up, hating the idea. I hope I don’t end up regretting this. “This feels strange. I don’t know if I want a dildo.”

“Why? I have a couple, and they’re great. If you can’t bring yourself to pleasure, how can you expect someone else to make you orgasm?”

My mind thinks of Alex. If Alex were to touch me, I’d melt into a puddle. He doesn’t seem to me like he would have any problems knowing how to please a woman. He’s good with his hands at work. And when he’s allowed himself to touch me, they’ve been perfect. Yeah…there’s no chance I’d be teaching him how to pleasure me.

He would own me.

With one single caress.

And I’d fucking let him.

Bruised ego be damned.

Hence why I’m here in a sex store, staring at a range of different shapes and sizes of dildos and vibrators. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought this would be a hard choice. The wedding flowers were easier than this.

I touch a hot pink one Maddison suggested. The ridges on the dildo are so lifelike, but the size of some of these…surely, these aren’t lifelike. Having enough of touching the silicone, I remove my hand. Next minute, it’s like dominos and one dildo hits the one beside it and they all go tumbling down. To the floor. My heart drops along with them. Dildos scattering the floor like confetti.

I squat and try to pick them up quickly, putting them back upright on the shelf before the worker comes over and sees the mess.

Maddison bursts out laughing. “I thought you meant one. Not the whole shop,” she says between laughing at me.

“Please, help me,” I beg.

My face is hot, and I bet my cheeks are the color of beetroot. I’ve never been this mortified in my life.

She starts to pick them up as the store worker comes over. A woman around my mother’s age, with brown hair highlighted by her grays, wearing the kindest smile. “Oh no. Are you two okay?”

“Yeah, my friend here just seems a bit touchy,” Madison says, erupting in a new fit of laughter.

The worker helps me pick them up, and when she stands, she pushes her glasses back up on her nose.

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