Page 113 of Doctor I Do

“I needed you,” she adds, her voice broken and barely above a whisper.

Needing to touch her, I rest my hand over hers and speak the truth, no matter how painful. “I know, and I fucked up the best thing that has ever happened to me. I asked the world for one thing, and I got it. Yet I pushed it away from fear. Loving you scares me so much, but losing you would be worse. Fuck, no, even saying that out loud crushes me.”

She stays silent. Tears still sprinkle down her cheeks as anguish looks back at me. With my other hand, I brush the tears away as I continue to beg. I’d rather give everything to at least know I tried, because I need her in my life, and I won’t let her walk away from me. She’s going to be my wife.

“Always getting accused of being promiscuous and a player, I guess I believed that to be true. That love wasn’t in my future, let alone a family,” I say in a panic. Pulling my hand away from her face, I hit my chest. I remember the numbness. It was so debilitating and so hollowing. “Tahlia, before you, I was so fucking numb inside.”

“Alex,” she sniffs, and there is a softness in her expression now.

“I swear to love you all my life,” I say, grabbing her hand and turning it so I can lace my fingers with hers, admiring how perfectly we fit together. I squeeze her hand as my eyes hold hers. “You’re my person. And without you, my life isn’t worth living. I want a family. I want to fill my house with love, laughter, and happiness. I promise I’ll make it up to you every day for the rest of our lives. Just give me a chance to prove how sorry I am.”

Her green eyes fill with new tears, and my own finally trail down my cheeks.

Chapter 40

Tahlia

This beautiful, broken man. As he swallows hard, clearly trying to hold back his struggle, I can’t stop the tears that spill down my face from his words. I understand his freakout and that he needed a moment to digest. Staring at his solemn face, I know in this moment, my heart is his. The words he spoke were so vulnerable and honest, begging me for another chance. My heart aches as I look at the torment in his eyes. He’s deeply sorry, and it’s evident. I grab his hands in mine, calming from the heat of his skin. Entwining our fingers, I stare down at them. Everything is right when he’s with me.

“I know you’re sorry. I forgive you. But I’m sorry too, for not giving you a chance to digest things or talk it out when you were ready.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m the fucking idiot. But do you really forgive me? Can we be a family? I so badly want to deserve this life with you.” He speaks as if he can’t quite believe it.

“Of course. I love you,” I explain.

“I love you too. I want nothing more than to be your husband and a father to our baby. But I might need you to be patient as I ease into the fatherhood part.”

“Why, Alex?”

He drops his gaze to our tangled fingers, as if looking for answers. I don’t press him. I wait patiently.

“I’m not worthy,” he whispers, like he’s too scared to say them too loud. I catch it, and with those words, I feel his deep-rooted apprehension in all this.

It’s my turn to be delicate and offer him comfort the same way he has given it to me. Grabbing the sides of his face, I welcome the rough texture of his scruff on my palms. The familiarity soothes me. His blue eyes are so bright and his pupils grow bolder with worry.

“You are, Alex. Look at the way you love and care for me. I can already tell you’re going to be amazing. All a baby needs is love,” I say tenderly, as if he may break if I speak too loudly.

He nods in my grip. “I can do that. I already do love our baby.”

I smile, leaning up to kiss him. I lay my head on his chest, and he wraps his arms around me.

“I need to ask you something,” he says, getting off the sofa. He drops to one knee and the dam of tears spill again.

“Tahlia Adams. I never would have believed we would be here today. What started as friends and then turned to a fake engagement to a real loving relationship is beyond my wildest dreams. It doesn’t feel real that I get to come home to you. Me before you was so different that I would never have believed I could feel like this. This deep, earth-moving love everyone dreams about. But you make me feel every type of emotion, and I thank you.”

“Oh, Alex.” Clutching his hand that’s holding mine, I inch forward.

“I was a shell of a man before I met you. I believed bad things about myself and couldn’t see the good. You’ve been there every time I think I’m not worthy enough. I want to spend every day showing you and our baby how I’m worthy of both of you. That I am a better man. I promise to love you and our baby with everything that I am. I’ll be there now and forever. Will you do me the honor and become my wife?”

“Yes, yes, yes!” I say, sealing my lips to his. He’s mine, and I’ve never been surer of something in my life.

“Fuck yes! Let’s get married then.”

Chapter 41

Alex

Alex: Did you take your pregnancy vitamins I had delivered to you?

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