Page 11 of Saffron and Secrets

“Oh my god, I'm so sorry,” I say, shoving the can back into my handbag. And then cover my open mouth. I peer around and there are now passersby staring as they wander past and it makes me more embarrassed.

I’ve been on edge lately, so his touch on my shoulder scared the crap out of me and caused me to react without thinking.

“It fucking burns.” He's still muttering under his breath. My stomach churns at the pain I’ve caused.

“I'm so sorry, John. I just…I thought…I don't know what I was thinking. Just not that it would be you.”

He tries to stand and open his eyes, but he can’t, so he stays hunched over. “It's okay. It's not your fault. You did good by buying it, but this fucking sucks.”

His words are nicer than I deserve, and I know he’s trying to make me feel better, but my heart is still racing and I’m struggling to swallow the lump in my throat. I don't even know what to do to fix his pain.

I want to touch him, but I don’t want to make things worse. So, I just stand awkwardly, hoping a passerby can help us.

“It's easing,” he says as he straightens.

I’m still staring at him like a deer in headlights. “I'm so sorry again. Can I grab something? Let's get inside and see if Sally can help.”

“Good idea.” He nods.

Without thinking, I grab onto his upper arm so that I can be his vision. “Let’s get you inside. Just keep your eyes closed.”

I push open the door and drag him along, appreciating the feeling of his tricep flexing underneath my hand. He’s so strong and sexy.

I can't deny that a little flutter happens in my stomach and between my thighs at his muscles. I haven’t touched a man in ages.

He's all man, that's for sure. I drag him along through the shop and scan around to find Sally. She spots us approaching her, and her brows pinch together in concern. “What's going on?” she asks.

John groans beside me, and it’s like I’m doused by a bucket of cold water. Gone are the flutters and aches and now it’s replaced with guilt.

“Well, I kind of pepper sprayed him,” I say in a low voice before biting my lips.

Sally’s face lightens with humor, and she chuckles.

He groans in pain, and it causes me to become protective of us.

“It's not funny, Sally. It was an accident. I've just not been feeling myself. So I carried one and he touched me and I sprayed him. I need your help. I don't know what to do, but I need to ease his pain. I don't know what else to do. I never looked up what to do when you spray someone.” I want to explain myself but also get her to understand my concern. Like what if I’ve caused him permanent damage?

“Okay, okay, let's go over to my computer and have a look.” Sally says.

Great, we’re about to use Dr. Google. I want a real doctor or nurse, but there’s no one around. I take a breath and guide him along and follow Sally to her computer. She types something in.

We follow the flushing instructions she found online, and he’s able to open his eyes and look at me. His beautiful brown eyes are red rimmed, and I suddenly feel sick, hating how I’ve let my mind wander off and think someone is following me.

Seriously, why am I doing this to myself? Buying pepper spray was a stupid idea.

You brought it to protect yourself.

“John, I'm sorry. Your eyes are red,” I say as I stare at him.

He reaches out to grab my arm, but then drops it back to his side. I’m sure he’s too scared to touch me, but I want him to touch me. I don’t want him to hold back. Fuck, this is a disaster.

“It's okay. I want you to protect yourself. This is not a bad thing. At least you tried. It sucks at the time.” He tries to laugh to make me feel better, but it doesn’t help. My stomach is still rolling in waves of guilt and embarrassment.

I offer a half smile. “I bet. It’s never been sprayed in my eyes before.”

His face brightens, and my nose scrunches as I try to figure out what he’s beaming at.

“Well, I think I owe you a drink now. Or should I say, you owe me a coffee date now.” A wicked smile forms on his face, and now, I know why his expression changed so quickly. I can’t help but smile back; he's piqued my interest and offered me a date. I can’t exactly say no, can I?

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