Page 8 of Keeping Our Secrets

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Jen drove me back home the next morning.

The entire ride home from Jen’s house was silent. I didn’t really know what to say. When I was shopping for the test, I had already decided if it was positive I would have the baby. I just didn’t know until this morning if I would keep it and now I wasn’t sure if I could say it out loud. I just didn’t know how I was going to do it all on my own.

I still hadn’t decided how I was going to tell my mom, but it wasn’t like I could stay away forever.

When we pulled up outside my house, Jen put the car into park and turned to face me. “I know your life has just been blown all to hell, but I wanted you to know that whatever you decide, I’ll be here for you.”

I took a deep breath.

“I think I’m going to keep it.”

“Really?”

I nodded my head.

“I’ll be an awesome auntie,” she told me. “He would have been there for you too, I know it.”

She pulled me into a hug when my eyes welled up. “I know,” I mumbled into her shoulder.

“Now dry those eyes before you go inside,” she released me. “Cause it looks like your mom’s here.”

“Great.”

“You don’t have to tell her right away. You’re also allowed to change your mind anytime. Why not just take a week to think about it?”

“I might do that,” I responded.

“If you need to talk, you call me day or night. I don’t care.”

I got out of the car and waved as she drove away.

“I’m home,” I called out, knowing my mom was somewhere in the house.

“We’re in here, honey,” Mom yelled from the kitchen.

My mom’s boyfriend, James, was sitting at the head of the table when I entered the kitchen. He had broad, muscular shoulders and stood a little over six feet tall. He looked distinctive, with his salt and pepper hair. They’d been in a long distance relationship for six months, and lived in Edinburgh, which coincidentally was the same city my dad lived in.

“Hi guys,” I greeted them.

“Hi, honey. How has everything been going while I was gone?” Mom asked, hugging me.

“It was good.” I paused, but reconsidered telling her about the baby.

“Where’d you stay last night?”

“I stayed with Jen.”

“Are you ready for your graduation?” James asked.

“Totally.”

“What are your plans for next year?”

“I think I’m going to take a gap year,” I responded.

Originally, I planned to go to university, but with the pregnancy, I needed another option. I’d already received several acceptance letters for university and had narrowed it down to two choices. In the future, I might regret not going to university right away, but right now it wasn’t in the cards. Once things settled down, I’d revisit the decision to see if they would reconsider my application.

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