Page 12 of Keeping Our Secrets

Mairi

The next month flew by fast, and my graduation was over in a matter of minutes. I had a tearful goodbye with Jen, who promised video calls with me every chance we got. She also added a brief visit with me at the end of summer to kick off her backpacking trip around Europe. With everything we could possibly fit in our suitcases, my mom and I boarded our plane to Edinburgh. I took the window seat so I could stare outside and avoid the serious conversation I’d been dodging for a month.

Little did she know, I had been keeping a secret of my own. The real reason I didn’t argue about uprooting my life and leaving my friends to cross the pond. After all, I don’t know if I can do this alone. I was only eighteen, and I was going to make her a grandmother. I had planned to tell her the day after graduation, but her own news made me lose my nerve. I promised myself I would tell her in a week. If I waited any longer, I would start to show. I had already exchanged my usual clothes for some more loose fitting ones.

One step at a time since I was still trying to get used to my mom being married. James spent a couple of weeks with us to help pack all of our things, but he had to go back to work a week ago. There was no way I could say I wasn’t happy to see him go. Their lovey dovey honeymooner phase was grating on my nerves. I only hoped our new house would have my bedroom far away from theirs because playing my music full blast probably wouldn’t be kosher with my stepbrother.

I sat back in the seat, staring out the window, and thought back to the week that changed my life. I think back to that trip often. That trip of firsts forever changed my life. One last hurrah before we all go off to university is what Jen said as we boarded the plane to Paris.

The only thing left on my bucket list before I went off was to lose my virginity. I had a fake ID and not a care in the world. We checked into the hotel and immediately hit the bar.

The night Liam and I met, I’d succumbed to peer pressure when Jen talked me into wearing some of her skimpy clothes to the bar. So I grabbed one of her smallest red dresses. It was so short on me it barely covered my ass, but she thought it was awesome, so I caved. She said we were in another country, so I should pretend to be someone else for the night.

With the way I was turning heads, the men made me feel desired. It was something I’d never noticed before. She pulled me onto the dance floor, and that’s when I spotted him in the corner with a group of guys. They were all standing at a table drinking beer. I almost stopped dancing when our eyes met. I blushed and looked away, but kept dancing.

The next song was slower. I turned to leave, saw Jen’s eyes go wide and felt two extremely warm hands tighten on my hips. My heart raced, but I didn’t move away. Jen winked, then left the dance floor. Strong hands spun me around and pulled me close. We spent the next hour between dancing to any and every song that came on and talking at the table with him and his friends. Jen and another one of our friends had gone to sit with a couple of other guys they had met the night before, so they were occupied.

I spent the next seventy-two hours learning anything and everything about what it was like to be pleasured by a man. The entire experience made me glad I hadn’t done the whole fumbling in the back seat of a car at prom with some teenage boy who would either come prematurely or not have a clue where to put it.

The next morning when I met Jen and another one of our friends at the airport, both of them eyed me knowing that something had changed, even if neither of them knew exactly what had happened.

Or they didn’t until we were on the plane ride home.

Cause what else would we do during a fourteen hour connectingflight.

Little did we know, that would be the weekend I got pregnant and forced everything to change. Even now, I didn’t regret the experience. Every day, I was closer to accepting the consequences. If only I could get up enough courage to confess my secrets to my mom.

* * *

When we landed, we went through customs and then retrieved our bags and walked toward the exits. James promised to meet us at the airport. He was true to his word. I saw him standing off to the side with a huge smile on his face and a poster with our names written in black marker. I nudged my mom’s arm and nodded my head in his direction. She bounced like a schoolgirl and picked up the pace.

They embraced and kissed long enough for me to be uncomfortable. I stood back and averted my eyes, glancing around at the bustling crowd. It had been ten years since I visited Edinburgh, even though my dad lived here. He brought me back with him after a business trip. We aren’t close, but that trip meant the world to me.

When they finished kissing, James gave me a hug and directed us toward where he parked. Once we were in the car, we drove to our new home. I drowned out the sound of them chattering as I watched the buildings fly by. It had been several years since I’d visited so I couldn’t wait to sightsee. I vibrated with excitement as we pulled into the driveway of a new home, a two story red brick building. James parked the vehicle and helped unload our luggage. I trailed behind them to enter the house.

“We parked the car at the curb outside. My son is waiting for us.”

“That’s wonderful, James,” my mom responded.

For a moment, I actually forgot I’d be getting a new sibling. I wondered what he would be like and whether we’d get along, or completely hate each other. I figured as long as we stayed out of each other’s way, we would be fine. James opened the door and pushed his way inside while we followed.

“You guys can leave your bags by the door and deal with them later,” James smiled.

When we walked into the living room, I looked past James and my mom into a set of familiar eyes.

Eyes that belonged to the man I thought I would never see again.

CHAPTER 6

Liam

Shit.

It had to be her.

The gorgeous, leggy blonde from Paris that had starred in many dreams over the past few months. She looked so different with her sweat pants and loose shirt. Still smoking hot, but not at all how she was when we met in Paris. It was halfway through my vacation when I spotted her dancing in the club. Normally I don’t dance, but seeing her swaying her hips was like a siren’s call I had to answer. We lasted a couple of songs until I asked her to my room. She hesitated at first, but when she noticed her friend with a guy on the other side of the club, she nodded.

The way she moved on the dance floor exuded confidence, but when we got back to my room, she became shy. I could tell she’d never done anything like that before. We took things slow and talked for a while, but once I kissed her, there was no turning back. I had to have her, and she was asking for me to. I couldn’t believe she was still a virgin at twenty-one. Normally, I had avoided virgins like the plague because they were clingy. Something about her made it impossible to stay away; this time it was different.

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