Page 70 of Calculated Chaos

Axel turns to me, wide-eyed. “You’re getting a tattoo?”

“Yep. The chains are off. Told you, I’m trying everything and anything that interests me.”

“Yeah, okay, but tattoos are kind of permanent.”

“I won’t regret it. Trust me.”

He eyes me curiously, but I just turn around and pretend to be interested in the art on the walls. It only took me a couple of hours of internet searching to land on the design, and I think Axel is going to love it. I hope so, anyway.

Reylon returns quickly, placing the artwork he designed on the glass counter. I stare at Axel instead of the paper, hoping for a positive reaction.

“This is so cool,” he whispers. “You picked this out, Holl?”

“Something like it, and then I asked Reylon if he could tweak it.”

Axel nods, dragging his fingers over the image. It’s an infinity symbol with an anchor top, but it’s got rough edges that give it a cool, sort of mechanical vibe to it. It’s mostly black, but Reylon added some light watercolor around the curves, and on two of the curves, the words “friends first” and “together always” are scrawled.

“Is it cheesy? I was looking for something that represented the bond we have.”

“Not cheesy,” Axel says, turning to face me. The dopey grin on his face warms my insides. “It’s thoughtful and sweet and meaningful.” He leans in and presses a kiss to my lips, and my cheeks burn with the knowledge that this is our first truly romantic PDA in front of someone one of us knows.

I think the pride washing over me could power a small city. This man is mine and he has no problem letting the world know it.

“I love it,” Axel whispers.

Reylon clears his throat, grinning at us when I look up. “Just need placement preference and who wants to go first, then we can get started.”

“Um, I was thinking the insides of our wrists so we can always see them,” I murmur.

Axel nods. “Perfect. You want to go first so you don’t freak out?”

I chuckle. “Good call.”

As we follow Reylon to his station, anticipation roils through my stomach, but in a good way. A bold way. I’m finally not holding myself back anymore and it feels damn good.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

AXEL

I watch in stunned pride as Hollister gets his tattoo. It was wicked cute watching him read through all the details and aftercare, ask Reylon all his credentials, and finally relax enough to get in the chair. He might be trying new things, but he’s still my adorable and very cautious best friend underneath it all.

He’s rambling now, telling Reylon everything that’s happened in his life in the last month. I know the word vomit is nerves, but Reylon seems truly interested in the story of how Holl went from caterpillar to butterfly.

“That’s pretty amazing, man,” Reylon says. “I think it’s badass that you’re forty and starting over. Some people let age hold them back from reinvention, but it’s never too late to change as long as there’s breath in your lungs.”

Hollister nods. “Yeah. I think I had to get to this age to see how derailed everything was. With some gentle nudges of course.” He smiles at me. “But forty’s not old.”

“Not at all. No age is old in my opinion.” Reylon taps his temple. “It’s all in the mind.”

“How old are you, Rey?” I ask, spinning on a stool next to Hollister.

“Older than I look,” he answers, winking. As he pours ink into tiny containers, I can tell he has more to say. “I believe in reinvention,” he continues. “People always say life is short, but if you’re miserable, it’s long as fuck.” We all chuckle. “Sometimes, you just have to grab it by the balls and go for it, even if it scares you.”

Hollister nods. “Yeah, I agree.” He fixes his eyes on mine. “But when it’s right, all those scary decisions lose their edge.”

“Well said,” Reylon says. “Alright, I’m ready. Are you?”

Hollister exhales slowly and nods. “I’m ready.”

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