Page 37 of Calculated Chaos

Axel takes my hand, squeezing it gently as he leads me back to our seats. Neither of us speak the rest of the class, which thankfully isn’t long, and we opt out of the dungeon tour since we’ve seen it before.

My head is spinning, trying to process everything I just experienced, but even more than that, trying to make sense of why I wanted it.

When we step outside, the cooler air sobers me slightly, but I lean into Axel for support.

“How did you get here tonight?” Axel asks.

“Rideshare. You?”

“Same. Want to get wasted?”

“On a Thursday night?”

He grins. “Yep.”

I shrug. “Why not.”

We head into a quieter bar across from Chaos and take a seat at the bar. Axel orders six shots of Patron, and I know he’s serious. We haven’t done shots to this extent for years. Does he regret what we did? Or is he just as confused as I am?

The bartender lines up the shots and Axel picks one up, pushing another glass toward me. I lift mine too, relieved as a smile spreads across his lips.

“To old dogs learning new tricks,” Axel says, chuckling.

I laugh too. “To old dogs.”

* * *

By the time we stumble into the living room, we’re both so drunk it’s a wonder we can walk. We haven’t stopped laughing and reliving our younger years since the first shot. Axel reminded me that I did have a wild streak in college that lasted all of six months, but it was still in me once upon a time.

We tumble onto the couch, kicking off our shoes and still laughing at nothing. I’m super lightheaded, but in a good way. “I think I needed this.”

Axel laughs. “Yeah.”

We settle down, both of us leaning back against the couch, not speaking for a few seconds, until Axel turns to me.

“I had fun tonight, Holl.”

“Me too.”

“No, I mean at the club. I think I’m a Dom.” He laughs at that. “Who would’ve thought?”

I shrug. “I can see it. You’re a nurturer. You take care of me. You always have.”

His smile fades as he focuses on my eyes. “And you always let me.”

“Yeah, well, apparently I’m a sub.”

Axel nods as his tongue flicks over his bottom lip. “Did you like it?”

I nod. “I didn’t like it when that other guy was on your lap. I was fucking jealous.” I huff a laugh. “Is that weird?”

“No. I was jealous every time Tank touched you last weekend.”

I search his face, so familiar yet suddenly new again. His different colored eyes are one of the most comforting things in my life, the way he’s always looked at me like I’m the best thing he knows. Maybe… my affection for him was slowly morphing into whatever this is right now.

That’s the last thought I have as my mind slowly processes that we’re both moving closer to each other. When our lips touch, there’s nothing slow or tentative about it.

Axel moans, gripping the back of my neck as his hand slides into my hair. He pushes me back, his much larger body pressing me into the cushions, and my only reaction is to buck my hips into his.

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