Page 58 of Calculated Chaos

“Of course, but I’m pretty sure it won’t. We’ve both had our share of relationships. We both knew how and why they weren’t right. None of that is here between us. I believe this is it for me. And it doesn’t matter that you’re a man. It matters that you’re my best friend and everything I ever wanted to feel in a relationship. You know me better than I know myself, Ax. I know you the same way. I know I’m safe with you. My heart is safe.” Hollister exhales as he holds my gaze. “I’m just gonna say it. I’m in love with you, Axel Penniston. So madly in love with you.”

My eyes well with unexpected tears. “I don’t think I knew until right now how much I wanted to hear that. I don’t think I understood what all these feelings in me were until right now. It didn’t just happen either. It’s been decades in the making, hasn’t it?”

Hollister nods, brushing his fingers over the stubble on my cheeks. “Yeah.”

I scoop him into my arms and kiss him so deeply my stomach flutters. “I love you, Hollister. So much it makes me feel like I never understood love before. You’re it for me too. I know it. I think I always have.”

Hollister smiles, pressing our foreheads together. “Nothing has ever felt as right as this. Even the subby stuff. It’s you, Ax. You gave me this freedom. You, helping me step into the man I always wanted to be. I guess better late than never is true for us.”

“Funny thing is, you gave me freedom too. I’ve just been coasting, but now I know that what I want to do is support you and your dreams. Wherever those lead us, I’ll be there.”

“Do we want to come out?”

I laugh softly. “To who? Our unimpressed fathers?”

“My mom and stepdad will be happy for us, I think. Sara will be happy. My dad can get fucked.”

I laugh, flipping over and taking him with me until he’s plastered on top of me. “Works for me. How should we spend our Sunday?”

“In bed ordering toys for our very own sex dungeon.”

“I like how you think, Holl.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

HOLLISTER

This Monday feels particularly shitty after the amazing weekend I had with Axel. Tearing myself away from him this morning sucked. He made coffee and toast for me while I got ready for work, and the gesture made me want to jump him all over again, even though it’s not unheard of for him to make me breakfast. It’s all just different now that I know we’re in love.

I log into my computer with a huff of frustration. The sooner I get this day over with, the sooner I can get back to Axel.

My office door opens and a flustered Sara hurries in. “Your dad is coming.”

“What for?”

“No idea, but word on the street is he’s pissed about something.”

“Great.”

Sara leaves and I continue working on the emails that built up while I was gone. That’s when I see the block of emails from my dad. Of course this is the weekend he decides he needs information from me. I’m about to get my ass chewed.

Barely a minute later, I hear Sara greet him and his gruff hello in reply, his steps heavy as they head for my door. My pulse quickens as sweat dots my forehead. It’s like waiting to be executed. I assume.

The door opens and he steps in, his face a mask of anger. “I see you deemed us worthy of your presence today.”

“I have no idea what that means.”

“It means you were MIA on Friday and the entire weekend.”

“I took a sick day and I don’t work on weekends.”

My dad narrows his eyes. “Oh you don’t work on weekends? Well, as an executive of this firm, you are expected to answer your emails.”

I blow out a soft breath to calm my churning stomach. “I’m fine, thank you for asking.”

“What?”

“You don’t care at all that I called out sick for the first time in my career here?”

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