Page 40 of Calculated Chaos

Tilting my head, I raise an eyebrow. “Exactly my point. If you call in sick, I’ll make your favorite strawberry stuffed pancakes.”

His eyes go wide. “Bribery.”

“Yep.” I dance my fingers down his chest. “Stay home. Let me take care of you today.”

Several emotions, from indecision to fear to affection, flash across his face before he nods. “It would be pretty fun to play hooky.”

“Yeah.” I drag my fingers through his hair again. “You look fucking hot this morning.”

He scoffs, but then his face softens. “You mean that, don’t you?”

“Do I ever say things I don’t mean?”

He shakes his head. “What are we doing, Ax?”

“Right now, we’re talking. Later… we’ll figure it out.”

I see the actual moment the panic sets in. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You can’t. That’s impossible, and you know it, Holl.” Cupping his cheek, I search his eyes. I want to kiss him so badly, but I hold back. He needs to process all this first. “Freshen up and call out. I’ll be in the kitchen making coffee and breakfast.”

He nods, but I can feel his heart racing against my chest.

“Hollister, breathe.”

He blows out a shaky breath. “Yeah. I’m good.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Nothing and no one could drag me away from you. Got it?”

“Got it.”

“Good.” I press a kiss to his forehead, my cock twitching as his breath catches. I know he wants this as much as I do. I just have to help him through this. Change is hard for him, even good change.

I watch as he climbs out of bed, glancing down at his naked body. When his eyes meet mine, he smiles shyly, his cock reacting to my gaze. I pull the blankets down to show him he’s not alone.

He chuckles, rubbing his forehead. “Is this real life?”

I laugh too, happy for the release of the tension in the room. “I think so, yeah.”

“Wild. Well, let me go blow Sara’s mind and call out sick.”

“I’ll be in the kitchen.”

Climbing out of bed, I squeeze my growing erection to calm it down. We need clear heads right now, not lust. Hollister’s eyes glaze over as he sways, biting into his bottom lip. Fuck, I want to attack him and tackle him into the bed. I could spend all day exploring his body, but I need to chill. It took us thirty years to get to this point. What’s a little bit longer?

Chapter Eighteen

HOLLISTER

In my own bathroom while I’m brushing my teeth, I stare at my reflection trying to figure out what happened to me from last Friday to this one. A week ago I was reliable. You could actually set your watch by my routine. I woke up at six and got to the office five minutes before eight most days. I don’t drink heavily during the week. I don’t drink heavily at all.

Now, a week later, I’m getting spanked in public, partying like a twenty-something, calling in sick, and rubbing myself all over my best friend.

But I can’t ignore that all of this was already inside of me. Maybe Axel was right and I’ve just repressed a lot of shit to stay on the path I thought I should be on. As I rinse my mouth, it’s already obvious I can’t go back to the boring man I was seven days ago.

I lean against the counter as memories of last night rush back. I wasn’t drunk enough not to know what I was doing, just enough to not stop myself. But Axel was right there with me, and based on how he’s acting this morning, I think he was into it too.

I know for a fact I had clothes on when I went to sleep, but I don’t this morning and there’s no evidence of what we did. Axel must’ve washed me up. Ah yeah. I remember now. We talked about it. The sweet idiot asked for my permission. He took care of me. I’m not surprised. He’s always taking care of me.

---