Page 78 of Silver Fox's Secret Baby

“Shall I drive you?”

“I can’t ask you to do that. I’ll order a car. Thank you for everything, Knightly. You and Mrs. Tillis and Caroline have been so wonderful to me and Pax.”

“It was no hardship. We’ll miss having you here. You lit up the house and Mr. Banion.”

My heart rolled in my chest at the idea that Henry had been happy with us here. Of course, that was all changed now.

“Thank you again for everything.”

“Of course. Let me at least help you get these bags down to the car.”

I nodded and thanked him again. Moments later, it seemed, I was in a car, pulling away from Henry’s house. My heart was heavy as I looked out the back window. I tore my gaze away, turning in the seat to look forward. That was my new plan. Look forward in life. I wanted Henry to understand and forgive me, but I couldn’t live any longer with silly hopes and dreams. Fairy tales weren’t true. It was time, past time, I let Henry go.

26

Henry

The memory of the night before woke me with a start. At first, I was filled with rage at Samantha’s betrayal. But then I remembered the wooden train whizzing along the tracks as I guided it through miniature tunnels and over bridges while playing with Pax. His bright blue eyes sparkled with excitement, his laughter filling the room like sunshine. This was my son. My heart swelled until I wasn’t sure how my chest could contain it.

“Look out, Daddy, there’s a cow on the tracks.”

Daddy. Jesus. I hadn’t realized how much I wanted more kids until now.

“That’s what cow catchers are for,” I said.

He laughed and then was quiet.

“Everything okay, Son?”

“Are you mad at my mommy?”

Fuck. I couldn’t lie to him, otherwise he’d think we could live as a big, happy family, and that train had left the station, so to speak. “I’m hurt.”

“She said she was sorry.”

“Sometimes, hurts take awhile to heal.” Although, as I woke this morning with anger toward her, I couldn’t deny that part of it was resentment because I still loved her. The real tragedy, I decided as I dressed that morning, was that I’d probably always love her. Perhaps that was my punishment too for what I’d done to her five years ago. But not knowing my son seemed like too great a penalty for my crime.

A knock on the door pulled me from my reverie. “Come in.”

I turned to see Samantha standing in the doorway. My heart thumped hard in my chest at all I’d lost. I blamed her for it. Maybe if I did, I’d stop hurting so much.

“Is something wrong?” I worked to keep my voice flat.

“Pax is likely to tell people about your being his father.”

What did that mean? Was she trying to protect her image as a woman who’d steal a man’s child? “Do you have a problem with that? You don’t want people knowing the truth about how you cruelly kept him from me?”

She surprised me by tensing with anger. “You were the one who didn’t want anyone to know about me, your dirty little secret. You were so ashamed of me that you sent me away. ‘We can’t ever see each other again.’ That’s what you told me, Henry. You’re the one so worried about his precious reputation.”

I flinched at her words. The truth of them stabbed me like tiny daggers.

“I’d been a fool to fall in love with you back then, a bigger fool to do so now.” She turned to leave my room.

“Samantha.” I called after her more out of instinct. I had no idea what to say. She loved me? She didn’t stop, and that was just as well because I realized if she could lie about Pax, she could lie about anything, including having loved me.

But she wasn’t wrong. Pax would likely say something about meeting his father, and when it came out the father was me, it would be news. Or at least gossip. I had to talk to Victoria first, before anyone else.

I skipped breakfast and had Knightly drive me over to Victoria’s. I probably should have called first, but I was grappling with how she was going to react when I told her about Pax. About having slept with her friend.

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