“Pax, you’ll be able to spend lots of time with your dad. We’ll both love you no matter what.”

Pax didn’t look reassured.

“How about I leave you two to start spending time now?” I rose from the tiny chair.

“Are you leaving?” Pax reached out and took my hand, his eyes looking a little nervous.

“Just the room. I’ll be in my room, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Why don’t you show Hen—your dad the train track you made?”

Pax looked over at Henry. “Do you want to see my train?”

“More than anything.” Henry stood.

Pax pointed toward the other side of the room. “It’s over there. Come on.”

I moved to leave but lingered by the door and looked in as Henry lowered to the floor to play trains with Pax. I’d totally messed everything up. If I’d hoped for a chance at a life with Henry, it was gone now. Despite what he’d said earlier, suggesting he wanted to adopt Pax, I wasn’t sure what he felt about me. The memory of how coolly he’d sent me away five years ago still lived in my heart. I had no reason to think he wouldn’t have done the same now.

Even so, I should have told him about Pax. The pain on Henry’s face was difficult to bear.

I retreated to my room, collapsing onto the bed in a fit of silent sobs. My mother was gone, Henry's anger at me was palpable, and Victoria would surely side with him. I had never felt more alone in my life.

“Is something wrong?” Marie’s voice came from my doorway.

I sniffled and worked to pull myself together as I sat up. The news of Pax being Henry’s son was going to get out soon, and I could use a friend, but while I liked Marie, it didn’t feel right to burden her with my problems.

“Just missing my mom.”

She nodded. “Gwen was a lovely woman. She loved you and Pax so much. Can I get you some tea or something?”

I shook my head. “No, thank you, Marie.”

She left me to my wallowing. I buried my face in the pillows, willing myself to accept the consequences of my actions. It was clear that I needed to speed up my plans for finding a new place and career. I couldn't remain in this house with Henry, constantly reminded of his anger and disappointment. It wasn't fair to Pax, either.

I don't know what plans you have for when you move out of here. But if they involve leaving New York City, I will demand that Pax stays here with me.

Henry’s words returned, sending a chill down my spine. He wasn’t planning on taking Pax away at this time, but he could. I’d thought about leaving New York, but even without Henry’s ominous threat, I wouldn’t now. I wanted Pax to have his father. I wanted Henry to have Pax.

I needed a new place to live, somewhere I wouldn't be haunted by Henry’s hatred of me. A fresh start for Pax and me. And I needed to deal with work. At this time, I’d continue to do my job since Henry wasn’t firing me, but I definitely needed to get started on my business. Or maybe I should just find a new job.

The early morninglight streamed through the windows, casting a warm glow over the bustling kitchen. Even so, I felt cold, empty. I filled my coffee mug and brought milk and cereal up to my room for Pax. It was early, so early that I was the only one up. But that was what I wanted. I wanted to get me and Pax up and out of the house before everyone else. I didn’t want to see Henry’s despising glares, an attitude that would likely be shared once Knightly, Mrs. Tillis, and Caroline discovered the truth about Pax.

Back up in my room, Pax burst in. “Mommy, look at my drawing.” I was thankful he’d done as I’d asked when I woke him. He got dressed and played in his room.

"Let me see." I examined his colorful masterpiece, my heart breaking even more at the three figures that no doubt were Pax, Henry, and Me. "Wow, it's beautiful. You're quite the artist!"

“Can I show it to Hen—my daddy?”

That wasn’t part of my plan, but I couldn’t very well deny Pax and Henry any more time together than I already stole.

“Sure. Maybe we can—”

“I know where to go.” Pax was out of the room before I could finish. I sighed.

“You two are up early,” Marie said from my doorway.