“Neither are you. You can’t fix me, Everly. I don’t want you to.”
“You don’t need to be fixed.”
“Just go so I can find someone who will give me what I need.”
“Go right ahead. Anyone I can dial for you?”
His eyes shoot up at mine. Black circles engulf them.
“How do you know I don’t already have someone here?”
“I don’t. You’re right.” I look him dead in the eyes. “And yet I’m still here. Because I care about you, Ethan. Because I want to be here—with you, for you.”
“You’re pathetic.”
His words are like a knife to my heart. They cut deep, making a scar that I’m not quite sure will ever heal.
“Why don’t you quit treating me like shit and try telling me what’s going on so I can help?”
“I don’t need help.”
“You need something.”
He rises to his feet. “You’re right, I do. I need you to fucking leave.”
“I can tell. You’re working really hard to get rid of me.”
“And yet you’re still here, so maybe it’s not hard enough. Maybe I need to tell you the truth. How I lied to you. How I’m not who you think I am.”
“Go ahead. I’ll listen, but it won’t change how I feel.”
What truth? Who exactly does he think he is? What on earth is he hiding, and is that what’s causing him all this turmoil?
“You were a mistake. We were a mistake.”
“You don’t mean that. You don’t—”
“Believe me, I mean every fucking word.”
The last thing I want to do is cry, to let him see me cry, but the tears are uncontrollable. They fall regardless of how hard I try to keep them in. “I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t give a fuck what you believe. I want you gone. Out of my condo. Out of my life.”
My body begins to tremble with sadness and anger. So much anger at the way he’s acting.
“This isn’t about me. Or us. This is about something else. About you, your past. Whatever it is, Ethan, just talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Get out!” he yells as loud as he can. The sound reverberates through my ears and rattles me to the core.
Why am I trying so hard, when clearly, he doesn’t want me to?
Because you’re doing it again, Everly. Trying to prove yourself. Prove that you can be what he needs. Prove that he’s wrong and really does want you here.
That’s not how this works, not how it’s supposed to be.
“You know what, fine, forget it. You win. Just remember, the only reason I’m walking out that door is because you are making me. You are pushing me away. If it were up to me? I would be sitting on that couch with you trying to figure all this out.”
“It isn’t up to you.”