Page 129 of Imperfect Player

“There are lots of people in the world that have issues with addiction. Do they not deserve love?”

“I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about me.”

“So then they do deserve love? Maybe even happiness?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“This isn’t about me. It’s about her. I’m trying to protect her.” I’m off the couch now, pacing around the room. Today was supposed to be easy. The final piece of the puzzle. A celebration. Instead, he hits me with this whammy.

“From what?”

“The things I did. The way I treated her. The . . . the possibility of it happening again.”

Work in progress.

That’s what I’ll always be.

Everly deserves someone that’s complete.

“What does she think about that?”

“It doesn’t matter what she thinks.”

“Doesn’t it?”

“No. I pushed her away and never looked back.”

That’s a lie. I look back every day. I think about her every day. The good times, the laughs, the moments when I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. All of it centers around her. I promised myself back then that I would stay away from her. Do what’s best for her.

Brad walks over to his desk. He pulls out a stack of envelopes and extends them to me.

“What the fuck are these?”

“Letters. Sixty letters, to be exact. All from Everly. She wrote you one each day. Asked me to hold onto them. Give them to you when I thought you were ready.”

“I’m still not ready.”

“You’re more ready than you know. You love her, Ethan.”

Well, thank you, captain fucking obvious.

“I know that.”

“She loves you.”

“I know that too.”

Brad shakes his head and laughs.

“What?” I ask.

“You play on a professional sports team. You know how to rely on others in that capacity. You know that alone, you couldn’t win that game, no matter how good you think you are. Yet you can’t seem to accept the fact that life is the same way. It’s okay for you to want a teammate. It’s okay for you to want that person to be Everly. There are wins and losses in everyone’s life, but that doesn’t mean anyone should have to go it alone. It takes a team, a village, a lover, whatever it is that you want, to make it to the other side. That’s for all of us, Ethan. Not just you. You just refuse to accept that.”

“For her. I refuse to accept it for her.”

He nods toward the envelopes in my hand. “Maybe if you read those letters, you’ll see.”

---