Page 87 of Double or Nothing

“Did you say all those things you wanted to say?”

When my mom was first diagnosed with cancer, we fought like hell. All of us. When the treatments didn’t work, and we knew her time was limited, we lived life to the fullest. I had a hard time thinking about the end, about her not being here anymore. The only thing I was certain of was making sure she knew I loved her.

As tough and trying as her illness was, as terrifying as it was to know we had little time, we knew. Death often comes so suddenly, without warning, and those left behind are often filled with regrets, what-ifs, and I wish I would haves. I didn’t want that. I wanted my mother to know everything.

When the end was near, I would lie in bed with her, and we would talk until she drifted to sleep. I would tell her my favorite memories of us. I let her know what she meant to me and how much I appreciated everything she did for me. She deserved to know she was an amazing mother and that everything she did and endured for me wasn’t unnoticed or unappreciated.

“I did. The only thing I never told her was the truth about how things ended with us.” My eyes fall to my hands. “I guess because I didn’t want to believe it was the end.”

“It wasn’t.” Sutton sweeps my hair to the side and presses a kiss to my neck. “It was just a short pause in our song.”

I smile. “She knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That we would get back together. She said we were forever.”

“We are, Kat. I won’t let her, or you, down again.”

Chapter 39

Sutton

Two days of pure heaven were coming to an end. God, how I wish they didn’t have to. What I wouldn’t give to hide away in this little bubble, just Kat and me.

“Things have been pretty good these past few days, huh?”

“Mmmm,” Kat says with a sigh of contentment.

We’re spending our last few moments on the terrace, sipping our coffee while we wait for our limo to take us to the airport.

“When Mac first told me about coming back to Vegas, I was pissed. Furious the asshole tricked me and forced my hand.”

“And now?”

“Now, I’m fucking grateful. I could have killed the fucker, but now, I just want to give him a fucking hug and thank him for knowing me better than I know myself.”

“I’m grateful, too.”

“Have you, uh… have you given any more thought to us?”

“That’s all I’ve been doing.”

“And?”

“Sutton…”

“You’re killing me here, Kitty Kat.”

“I’m scared, Sutton. I’m afraid we won’t work. I’m afraid of ruining the life I’ve built. I’m afraid of losing you all over again. The perfection of a few days alone together is vastly different from real everyday life.”

“I realize that.”

“How can I bank on a few days when we spent years together and still ended up in this position?”

As frustrated as I am, I do my best not to let it come out in my response. I’m doing everything I can here, but I’m not sure what the hell she’s looking for.

“Do you love me?”

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