Page 46 of Double or Nothing

Sutton

I wake up in the afternoon, and I’m pissed. Pissed about my dad. Pissed about Kat. Pissed at Mac and the look he’s giving me.

“We need to talk,” Mac tells me as he hands me my black coffee.

“I already told you, I can’t do this. I can’t take that residency.”

“I know.” Leaning against the wall, he sips his own coffee. “That’s not what I want to talk about.” I look at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue. “I talked to Kat yesterday before everything went down.”

“And?” I ask, unsure where he’s going with all of this.

“Did you really ask her to choose between you and her mom?”

Whatever emotion I felt toward Kat last night, that moment of weakness when I told her I loved her, is out the window. She outed me to Mac. The only person in my life who didn’t think I was a complete asshole.

“I, uh..” Running my hand through my hair, I pace the room. “I didn’t mean to. I just…”

What, Sutton? She told you she couldn’t leave her dying mother, so you tried to force her hand? Because that’s exactly what happened. That’s exactly what I did and why I should be pissed at myself—not her.

“I fucked up, okay?” I shout. “I fucked up and ruined everything. Is that what you want to hear?”

“What I want to hear is why? Why in the hell would you do something like that?”

I can see the disappointment in his eyes, and I’m instantly reminded of the same look my father gave me yesterday.

“I was hurt. Her telling me no hurt me, and I acted out. Christ, I was eighteen. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing or saying. Now… now I don’t know how to make any of it better.”

I recall the look Kat gave me when I first got here, the disdain in her eyes, the fuck you. There is no way in hell she wants to forgive me. She’s perfectly content hating me. As she should be because I hate me, too. I hate myself for leaving her. For being pissed when I should have been understanding. For walking away from the person who showed me what unconditional love meant.

“For starters, you could quit being a dick,” Mac suggests. While it’s meant to ease the tension at the mention of my little lie, I can’t help but think he’s right. Not only was I a dick when I gave her that ultimatum, I was one when I left and even now that I’m back. In all these years, not once did I ever attempt to do anything to make it right—to apologize.

“It’s too late.”

“It’s never too late.”

“What about that guy?”

“What guy?”

The guy who had his hands on her. The one touching her in ways no one but I should be allowed to. “The one from last night.”

“You mean the one she said is just a client? A guest of the casino?” He takes a sip of his coffee. “Just. Like. You.”

“She wouldn’t let a client touch her like that.”

“No, what she wouldn’t do is let you touch her like that, and that’s what’s pissing you off, isn’t it? Never mind the fact you brought some chick back to your room the other night just to piss her off.”

“Nothing happened,” I tell him, tossing the covers back and getting out of bed.

She doesn’t know that, though. As I sip my coffee, letting his words settle over me, I can’t help but wonder if maybe that was going on with that guy last night. Maybe seeing me the other night with that woman bothered her more than she wants to admit. Maybe she was trying to get me back with that douche.

If that’s how she wants to play things, I’m in. I slide on a pair of fresh jeans and a shirt.

“Two can play at that game,” I say as I grab my wallet and head for the door.

“Wait, what? What are you going to do, Sut?” Mac scrambles out of his chair to follow me.

I ignore his incessant questions on the way down to the casino floor. With a grin, I step up to the craps table. The dealer greets me by name, and while I acknowledge him, my focus is on Kat, who is standing nearby, watching every move I make.

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