Page 21 of Double or Nothing

I can still see the look on Kat’s face as she walked toward me across that baseball field. As much as I want to push it away, I allow it to come back to me, allow myself to feel every damn ounce of pain that night caused me. If I don’t, I might just end up doing the one thing I don’t want to do. Go back to Vegas.

Five years ago…

I grab Kat’s hand and pull her against me. “I have amazing news.”

“Oh, what’s that?” she asks as she wraps her arms around me and presses her lips to my neck.

As much as I’m enjoying what she’s doing to me, I’m already on overload with excitement. “Christ, Kat, you’re killing me here,” I say, my voice getting hoarse as her hand slides between us.

“Then give me what I want, Sutton,” she purrs in my ear.

I grab onto her arms and pull us apart. I stare at her, a broad, unstoppable smile on my face.

She smiles back, giving in to the almost childlike excitement I’m exhibiting. “Okay, okay, what is it?”

“Rocked Records offered me a contract.”

“What?” she screams. “That’s amazing. I’m so proud of you, baby.”

Her arms wrap tightly around my neck as she jumps into my waiting arms. “So, what happens now? What did they offer you? Oh Sutton, this is just…”

“I have to go to New York,” I blurt out.

“For how long?”

“I don’t know, baby. They said the album is going to take months and then they want me to start touring right away. But it doesn’t matter because I want you to come with me. I want you by my side.”

The excitement that had bubbled inside me dies down when I see the distraught look on her face. Trying to make the situation better, I continue. “What do you say Kitty Kat? You going to come with me and take over the world?”

“No.”

“No?”

“I can’t go Sutton. I can’t leave my mom. God knows how much time she even has left. I mean… I can’t do this. Not right now.”

“But this is my chance.”

“I know,” she says somberly. “And I know you have to take it. But I’m sorry, I can’t go with you.”

The happiness and excitement that had been surging through me since I walked out of the meeting with Rocked Records fades into non-existence. “I can’t do this without you. Please, Kat.”

“You already are. And I will be there as soon as I can. Until then, we can just… we’ll make it work.” She sounds so sure. I’m not as confident though.

“If you don’t come with me… we’re through.”

“Don’t do that, don’t make me choose.”

I shrug, acting as if I don’t care when the possibility of her not coming with me is literally tearing me apart. Getting away from my dad, that’s top priority, though. This deal, it gives me that chance. I can finally escape him, his drinking, the verbal abuse. I can make something out of my life, show him just how wrong he is about me.

The tears of happiness quickly turn to tears of sadness. They spill over, rolling down her cheeks and ripping my heart out of chest. Still, I stand my ground.

It’s a dick thing to do – make her choose between me or her mother. I already know what her decision is, but I guess forcing her to say it, to not pick me makes me feel a little better about leaving her. It puts it in her court. Makes it her fault.

“We can make this work. We don’t have to…”

“Sounds like you’ve made your decision.”

Kat hardens. The look in her eyes fill with passion and fire and… anger. “No. You made it for me. Good luck, Sutton.”

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