Page 17 of Double or Nothing

She keeps speaking but the fact is, she’s already made her choice. And it sure as hell isn’t me.

Knowing about her choice, being angry at her for making it, makes me feel better about leaving. It soothes the ache. If I’m angry, I can’t feel the pain. If I hate her, it won’t hurt to leave.

Honestly, if she isn’t coming with me, there’s a big part of me that doesn’t even want to go. Getting away from my dad, that’s top priority, though. Taking this deal gives me that chance. I can finally escape him, his drinking, the verbal and physical abuse. I can make something out of my life, show him just how wrong he is about me.

“It does. And obviously, you’ve made your choice.”

Kat hardens. Her eyes, usually filled with passion and love, go void of the emotions. They fill with pain and anger. So much anger. “No. You made the decision for me. Have a nice life.”

As I watch her walk away, one thing becomes clear, I fucked up. I just ruined the best thing that ever happened to me.

“Fuck,” I shout out, this time kicking the dirt out of anger rather than nervousness.

This was not how this was supposed to go. Kat was supposed to say yes, then we were going to ask Mac together.

I had a plan.

A plan that went to shit the moment she said no. And one that sunk further into the shit hole the moment I gave her that ultimatum.

I hear a door slam shut. The distinct sound of Mac’s beat-up old truck.

“Jesus, Sut, you okay?” he asks, standing no more than a foot from me.

I have to look like hell because I sure as fuck feel like it. The ache in my chest worsens by the minute. The only refuge – the contract. The one that I can’t back out on. The only way for me to escape my father once and for all.

“I will be.” I clear my throat, trying to rid it of the emotion that Kat left knotted in it. “I uh, I got something to tell you. Well, ask you, I guess.”

Please, God, let him say yes. I don’t know if I can handle another person walking away from me today.

“Yeah, of course, what is it?”

“This guy, Dante, he uh… Mac, he offered me a recording contract.”

“Are you serious?”

“Dead serious, man.” I hand him the contract, the terms of the agreement laid out before him.

He flips through the pages doing a better job of scouring the thing than I did. “This doesn’t look like a bad deal. We should probably have someone look it over though. My aunt is a…”

“I already signed.”

“You what?” he shouts.

“I signed. The minute he gave it to me.” Mac’s face burns red with fury. His anger is warranted and understood. “I know. I know. I just… I couldn’t turn it down. What if they wouldn’t negotiate? What if this was my only chance? Besides, what could be worse than living with my dad?”

“You have a point there.”

“Exactly. So, I signed. And I’m thrilled. And I want you to come with me, be my manager.”

His face lights up, a big gooberish grin diminishing the red and taking up most of his face. “You want me to what?”

“Don’t make me say it again, dickhead.”

“Yes, man, of course.” He pulls me in for a hug. “Fuck, Sut, this is it. This is what you’ve been working for.”

“We. We’ve been working for. I couldn’t have done this without you, Mac.”

Stepping back from the hug, he runs his hands through his hair. “When do we leave? Shit, what did Kat say? She’s got to be over the damn moon.”

---