Was that it?
Was that why I was feeling so absolutely out of control with Axe being gone?
Was I really in love with him?
My grandmother once told me that the things we say without thinking are usually the things that are the truest. Admitting that I loved Aksel Michelson felt completely natural.
If not absolutely crazy considering our past.
And present.
There was still so much that I didn't know about the man. How could I love someone if I didn't even really know anything about him?
I wondered if that were even possible.
But then, I wasn’t entirely certain that I didn’t know anything about him. While he had certainly grown up, he was still, in many ways, my friend from my childhood. He might have been able to woo other women with his money, power, and gifts, but that wasn’t what I was interested in. So many people offered me those things in my life. As a model I was always surrounded by expensive clothing and expensive lifestyles.
I knew other girls were happy with their relationships as long as they came with a big checkbook. I never adhered to that. I always craved something more.
Friendship.
The thing that I had denied myself for so long because of my guilt over what had happened with Axe.
Companionship.
The thing that I never seemed to be able to have given the industry that I worked in.
And love.
The thing that I’d felt all those years ago from him but didn’t understand what it was.
Maybe I hadn’t fallen in love with Axe. Maybe I’d always been in love with him.
I rushed over to my phone and checked my messages for the hundredth time that day. There was a missed call and my heart started beating really fast.
I immediately pressed redial, hoping and praying that he would pick up.
One ring.
Two rings.
Three rings.
I basically knew how his phone rang by heart at this point, and I all but gave up when his voice came on the other end of the line.
"Hello?"
"Oh my gosh, Axe?" I said in disbelief.
"Hello, pretty girl."
"Is everything okay?"
"Why wouldn't it be?"
I started to feel a little sheepish for how immature I was behaving. "Um, I guess because I hadn't heard from you in a while."
"Oh," he replied. "You do know I'm working, right?"