Page 9 of Total Obsession

I worried my lower lip as I realized that bringing up his disappearance might not have been the best thing to do. I felt nervous in his presence, like I didn’t know how to be myself.

He let go of one of my hands to wave one of his own. I felt the loss of his warmth immediately as my hand dropped to my side. “All in the past. What matters is that we are here now."

My mind let out a deep sigh. After all these years, had he forgiven me for what had happened between us? If he was saying it was all in the past, he must not have held onto the hurt I so obviously caused him. Given how long I’d suffered under the guilt, I couldn’t fully process that he seemed unperturbed.

He looked me up and down and my mind was reeling as it tried to figure out just what I was feeling towards Aksel Michelson from middle school. It couldn’t be attraction, could it? This was Axe! The boy that lived next door to me. The boy that had been my nervous shadow for years. The boy that I thought was missing or worse for more than a decade.

Yet, here he was. Looking as gorgeous as ever, and my body was responding. When he looked at me, it felt like my insides were catching fire.

"I'd really like to catch up," I admitted to him before I could stop the words from leaving my lips. I fidgeted from side to side awkwardly. That was so unlike me.

"Hm," he said shaking his head. His hum somehow penetrated my skin and sent shivers straight through my body. "Unfortunately, I'm flying to Paris tomorrow, and I'm booked with meetings for the rest of the day."

"Oh," I replied a bit sadly, looking down at my bare feet.

The gentlest of touches beneath my chin had me raising my head. I looked into his green eyes which were full of compassion and warmth as he tucked a piece of hair that had escaped my ridiculous updo behind my ear. The intense sparks that had subsided came back with a vengeance, all from just that simple touch. His fingers were so close to my lips, and all I could do was imagine him brushing his thumb against them so that I could know what he tasted like.

"I hate to see sadness on such a pretty face. Go on. Show me a smile," he said.

It was like I was falling under some sort of spell with him. If anyone else even dared touch me like this, I likely would have screamed bloody murder. But instead, my lips lifted and gave him exactly what he wanted.

He inhaled a bit of breath, smiled himself, and then said, "There she is," before running the pad of his thumb against my cheek, giving me something so close to what I wanted, but just beyond my reach. His hands left my face, and the smallest of whimpers left my lips. I wasn't certain whether he'd heard it, but I hoped he hadn't.

"Here," he said, pressing a piece of cardstock in my hand and wrapping my fingers around it. "Call me sometime," he said. "And we'll plan a proper reunion."

I looked down and uncurled my fingers from the thick parchment. Its edges were sharp and dug into the pads of my hand. It was a little black card. On one side in red metallic letters was his name, Aksel Michelson. On the other side in the same print was a phone number.

I looked up to ask him one of the millions of questions I had for him, but he was gone. I couldn't even believe it. I just stood there stunned before spinning on my heel to try and see which way he'd gone.

It didn't matter though, with all the commotion backstage at the end of the show, there was a din of noise and a multitude of people walking this way and that way. He'd disappeared from my life all over again, much the same way as last time.

Well, not entirely. At least this time he left something behind for me. I squeezed the little card against my palm, not caring that the edges almost cut into my skin.

* * *

"What's up with you?" Cassie asked me as I plopped myself on the sofa of our shared apartment. Cassie was another model in Milan, and the two of us shared an apartment to save on rent. At the time I'd entered into the lease with her, I was just starting out and could barely afford food. But, that was okay. Models didn't really eat and the drugs were generally provided to us at parties for free.

But now, things were going so well, and I was expecting huge advances for the upcoming television series that I probably didn't need to share an apartment anymore. Besides, the filming was taking place in New York.

I knew it was going to disappoint Cassie when I told her I was moving out. She hadn't taken off at nearly the same pace that I had. It's not that she was jealous in a bad way, but I knew that she was jealous. If anything, I couldn't blame her. A lot of people thought I’d be out of the industry within a year. I’d gained enough weight that some of the runway clothes fit a little too snug. I surprised everyone when I announced my television deal.

I turned the little card over in my hand again. I was almost afraid to put it down. I worried if I did, it would disappear. The meeting with Axe still didn't seem real.

"Someone from my past showed up backstage today," I admitted to her.

"Oh yeah?" she asked as she started taking her hair out of rollers. "Who?"

I sighed. "This kid I went to middle school with. We were actually neighbors, for a time."

"What happened to him? Did he move?"

I shook my head as I flipped the little card over and over again in my hand. "No one really knows. It was the beginning of our freshman year in high school. It's sort of a tragic story."

"Well, now you have to tell me," Cassie said, always one for gossip.

I twisted my lips and rested my head against the backrest. "Like I said, it was the start of our freshman year in high school. His mother died when he was very young. His house burned down the second day of school. His father’s body was found in the ashes but not Axe’s. Search parties were sent out for him, but no one could find him. No one ever really knew what happened to him. A lot of people just assumed he’d died in the fire, too, despite them not being able to find his body."

"That's super creepy," Cassie said.

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