Page 109 of Total Obsession

Her eyes were cloudy, and I could tell she was fighting back tears.

"Do you still want to tell me?" I asked her.

She started to divert her gaze. She looked anywhere but into my eyes.

"Zoey," I said, finally catching her eyes.

"Yes," she whispered.

"Then tell me," I said. My heart was beating rapidly against my chest. It was always like this with her. The muscle had been dead my entire adult life. The only times it beat were when she was near.

"I'm afraid to."

"Don't be. Whatever it is, it's not going to change anything."

"That's just the thing," she said. "Admitting it might change everything."

I was at a loss for words. What could she possibly have to tell me that would change things, given everything that had happened?

"And how bad would that be?" I asked.

"I don't know," she whispered back.

"You don't have to say it."

"I know," she said.

I caressed her face and ran my fingers through her hair gently. She didn't pull away from me. She just closed her eyes and let the tears she'd been holding in escape. As each one of them fell, I captured it, swiping it away, wishing I could swipe away all the bad feelings that went with it.

She took a deep breath and then said the words I never thought I'd hear her say.

"I love you, Aksel Michelson."

My breath left me as she said the words. I had to be hallucinating. This was my own dream. That had to be the explanation.

"You're lying," I said immediately.

She shook her head but still didn't open her eyes. “I’m not.”

"Even after everything, still? Even though it’s because of me that you lost your career, your fame, your money?” I asked in disbelief.

She nodded. “None of those monetary things ever mattered to me,” she said. “The fame, the fortune, the glamor, sure, I went along with the ride of it, but it’s only always been you that’s mattered.” She sighed. “I should hate you. And that’s why I know my feelings are true. I shouldn't want you to even touch me. In my rage, Ididthink I hated you. But, if you left me, I know I’d never recover from it. It was too hard the first time it happened. I was never able to let it go. I was never able to let you go. That’s why I kept the Polaroid with me for all those years. I think I understand how you felt that night. It's the only reason I knew."

My breathing was heavy as I processed her words. After weeks of following her back and forth to that diner, not ever saying a word to one another, I was in shock at her words. I didn’t know what to say to her, so I acted instead. I stood up and made my way to my jacket, reaching into a hidden pocket to pull out my own prized possession. Over the years it had become slightly crinkled and had a few old and new bloodstains on it because I carried it with me everywhere I went. I cradled it carefully as I made my way back to her bedside before finally handing it to her.

She took the little photograph in her hands, her fingertip gently caressing the image there. An image that I’d held onto because, even despite my rage, I could never let her go, either.

“You kept yours?” she asked as she took in the picture of her younger self planting a kiss on my cheek.

I nodded.

"Please Zoey," I said through gritted teeth. "Please tell me I can kiss you right now."

Her eyes opened, and if someone told me that the only color I'd ever be able to see again in my life was the clear blue of her eyes, I'd have considered it a gift.

"Okay," she said nodding her head and pulling the photograph down to her chest as if she was trying to absorb the image and everything it represented to me.

"You're sure," I said.

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