Page 63 of Enemy Daddy Next Door

I just don’t know if I ever believed it. My sisters say our mom and dad were perfect together. Not to me. Never to me.

But why? What did I see that they didn’t?

“The hardest thing is to just let go and trust that whatever is right will…will be.”

I suck on my lower lip. Trust has never come easy to me. Not since Mom left.

“I know you’re trying to figure out a way to argue with me, but…”

I laugh and lean my head on Gillian’s shoulder, tears abated.

“You won’t find a good argument for that.”

“I want to know, Gilly.”

She kisses the side of my head. “I know you do. It’s okay. You’ll get there.”

I can only hope.

* * *

“Hunter couldn’t have known she would show up, Amy. You’re being cruel to yourself by telling yourself a story where Hunter is cruel. And I don’t think he is. At least not what from what you’ve told me,” Jordan posits.

I’m sitting in my normal spot, the one I’ve been in for years, talking through my non-breakup with Hunter. “I suppose.”

“And you deciding to have sex with him…his pulling away isn’t a punishment for that.”

I let out a long sigh. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

“Obviously, your feelings need to come first, but it might be worth imagining how hard it is for him to pump the brakes when it’s clear he cares about you very much.”

Jordan was thrilled to find out she was correct about the budding feelings between Hunter and me. She’s been my therapy cheerleader. Always on my side to keep it real, but never afraid to say that she’s excited for me.

When I came into her office today, I wasn’t sure who was more upset over the news that things had gone semi-south between us, me or her. But, as usual, she’s made me feel much better about the situation. Keeping me grounded.

“Amy,” Jordan says with a soft smile. “It’s not over. If it was over, he would have said he was ending things. And he told you he explicitly wasn’t. The anxiety is natural, but you can’t let it run your every thought.”

“You’re right.”

We are silent for a minute. Sometimes in therapy, my mind drifts elsewhere completely. I’m thinking about going back home and heading up to my bedroom hurriedly so as to avoid any possible interaction with Hunter or Jessica that would surely break my heart.

Even in my room I’m not safe, though. From my bedroom window I can see his yard. I can see that goddamn gate.

The thought of it is like a shock to the heart.

“Where are you, Amy?”

My eyes flick to Jordan.

“You’re thinking about something. What is it?”

I sigh. It feels stupid, but I have to say it. “I keep thinking about the gate.”

“What about the gate?” Jordan asks.

Damn, I’ve mentioned it enough that she knows exactly what I’m talking about. “I don’t know. It’s strange, I just…when I see it, it makes me so mad. Even when things were safe and fine between us, it made me mad.”

“It’s like you’ve made it a symbol or something.”

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