“You are not having a panic attack,” Axel replies over the phone.

“I said ‘think’, didn’t I?” I hiss, pacing back and forth in my kitchen. I eye the picnic basket on the counter. “God, what if she doesn’t like my cooking?”

Axel chuckles. “Then you go to Malibu Farms.”

“You’re not helping,” I retort.

“I’m sorry! I’m just trying to help you calm down.”

I shake my head. “I don’t think I’m going to calm down.”

“Just think about it being over, then. That’s what I always think about when I have big presentations or –”

“Well, I don’t want it to be over! It hasn’t even fucking started!” I immediately seal my lips together and look over my shoulder to make sure Jessica hasn’t snuck into the kitchen while I wasn’t looking and didn’t overhear me say a naughty word.

I can hear Axel is smiling. “That’s a good thing, Hunter. That means you’re excited.”

I guess that’s true. With the women I was seeing before Amy, I never felt nervous. I didn’t feel excited either. I was happy to get some release, but other than that, I was not feeling much. Now that I’m getting ready for my first official date with Amy (daughter in tow) I’m going batshit crazy with nerves. That’s a good sign, right? Means I care.

“You’re going to enjoy it. Amy is a sweet girl. She’s not going to make it hard for you.”

“It’s just…I haven’t done this in a long time.”

“Sounds like me a couple months ago,” Axel mutters.

I stop and look out the kitchen window at the Solace house. I wonder if Amy’s as nervous as I am. Rushing around, picking out the right outfit, brushing her beautiful, flowing locks, thinking about me thinking about her. “How did you stop being nervous about it?”

“Didn’t. Just did it. Gillian made it easy.”

“You two also had a history,” I grumble. “And have known each other many –”

“Doesn’t matter how long you know someone. Dating them for the first time still comes with all those pre-date jitters. In fact, it might be worse because you really don’t want to fuck it up. Doubly worse for me since I fucked it up the first time.”

Okay, Axel has a point. He did leave Gillian high and dry back in the day after their short summer fling and didn’t even know Stella was his until just this year. He’s making up for a lot. “It’s just…I know how to flirt.”

“I know you know how to flirt.”

“I know how to be charming.”

“Hell yeah, you do!” Axel replies. I hear Gillian in the background admonish him for his use of the word ‘hell’. “…heck yeah, you do.”

I chuckle. A welcomed comedic respite from the terror I’m feeling. “I don’t know how to do the rest of it, though.”

“Yes, you do. You’ve done it before.”

I wince. “A long time ago.”

“Doesn’t matter. Don’t sell yourself short. You’re capable of being more than just a fling to someone, Hunter.”

I guess that’s what this boils down to. I’m not afraid of making Amy a fling. I’m afraid that’s all she’ll see me as. She’ll get past that first layer and realize all I am is fun. A good time. Not a long time. I know what Amy deserves. And I know that I want Amy. But I’m not sure I deserve her.

“What if this doesn’t work?” I ask.

“It might not.”

I roll my eyes. “Wow, thanks.”

“I’m being real with you. It might not. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.”