Stella turns around per my instruction. I take the delicate necklace out of the box and dangle it out in front of her face. Gillian pulls Stella’s hair out of the way so I can put it around her neck. “It’s a little long,” I say as I clasp it. “But you can grow into it.”
“I can wear it forever!” Stella remarks excitedly, looking to Gillian.
Gillian nods. “You can.” She touches Stella’s shoulders. This is her moment to shine. “You like Axel, don’t you?”
“Yes, a lot,” Stella says, looking down at the small star and then back at me. I touch her shoulder gently, feel my heart swell with pride. My little girl…
“Good. I like him a lot too,” Gillian replies. “There’s something that we need to tell you, Stella.”
Stella is quiet, waiting.
Gillian swallows. Our eyes meet for just a moment, but in that moment, I send her a message. You can do it. She takes Stella’s hands. “Axel is your daddy, honey. Your real, real daddy.”
Stella is silent. The whole world is silent. I hold my breath, waiting to hear what she has to say. What if she bursts into tears? Hurt that I’ve just now shown up in her life this way? Or what if she’s mad? What if she never really wanted a dad in the first place? So many what ifs that could break my heart.
However, I should know better when it comes to Stella. She turns around and looks into my face with curiosity. Eyes perusing every one of my features.
I feel my eyes prick with tears. This is the first time my daughter is seeing me as her father. Like we should have met six years ago in the hospital. I should have gotten to hold her right away. She would have remembered my voice from the womb and would already know how I say, “I love you.”
This isn’t how it goes traditionally. But this is the beginning of our story.
Carefully, Stella touches my cheek. Her curiosity melts into a knowing smile. I can’t possibly comprehend how, but it’s almost like she knew all along, was just waiting for us to catch up. “Hi, Daddy.”
I can’t hold back my tears, though I’m smiling at the same time. “Hi, baby.”
Without warning, she wraps her arms around my neck and buries herself into my chest. It’s not like it’s the first time. It’s like…I’ve just been gone a few weeks and she’s welcoming me back home. I hold her to me with all of my might, pulling her onto my lap and cradling her in my arms.
Eventually, we’re all crying. Stella into my shoulder, me into her hair, Gillian into her hands. I reach out and pull Gillian toward us. She gets on her knees behind Stella, embracing the both of us.
Stella draws away, face decorated with crystals of tears. “Daddy?”
I won’t ever get tired of hearing her say that. I run my hand through her hair. “What is it, Stella?”
“I think I…” She blinks, more tears rushing down her cheeks. “I think I love you.”
I grin the proudest, happiest grin I’ve ever had. “Oh, Stella, I think I love you too.”
Gillian’s hands clutch my waist harder. I cup the back of her head as our eyes meet. In that one look, I know we have years and years of more ‘I love yous’ ahead of us. Even if we haven’t said it to each other, I know it’s there.
Now, I just need to tell her too.
* * *
By the end of the evening, I offer to take my girls home. I need to make up for as much lost time as possible, so every second I get with them is worth its weight in gold.
Stella doesn’t seem to be getting tired. She talks the whole way home, telling me anything and everything she can think of from her little life. Gillian remains silent, though a smile is plastered on her lips. Our hands meet in the center console, slowly winding together as I drive as we listen to our little girl (our little girl!) wax poetic on everything she thinks I need to know about her.
When we get to Gillian’s house, Stella finally yawns. “Okay, bedtime.”
“Thank goodness,” Gillian says under her breath.
We all get out of the car. Stella immediately gravitates toward me and takes my hand. “Will you tuck me in, Daddy?”
“Of course, I will,” I say. I glance over at Gillian. “Your mom might need to help me with the getting ready part, but–”
“No, no. You’ll tuck me in. Just you and me, please,” Stella says, one of the politest demands I’ve ever heard.
“Uh–”