Page 77 of Enemy Ex's Secret Baby

“It doesn’t matter,” I say, holding up my hand to stop him. “I don’t even know who you were talking to. Some guy. I think he was visiting or–”

“Ugh. Fletch,” Lola interrupts. She glares at Axel. “I hate that guy.”

Axel narrows his eyes in thought. “He was a college friend. Visiting for the holidays…”

“Right. I heard you two talking. Out on the deck. About Shelly. You were telling him how she tried to entrap you into having a baby with her. Poked holes in the condoms, said she was on the pill and wasn’t. It was clear you were very relieved to not be dealing with that, so–”

“A baby with a woman I barely knew is a completely different story than a baby with you, Gillian, you have to know that.”

I shake my head. “That wasn’t all of it. You were saying just awful things about her. Calling her names and–things I don’t like to repeat.”

His face falls.

“I’m not saying she wasn’t a bad person. Or that you didn’t deserve your anger. I’d just never heard you talk like that. Even when we teased each other. You never used words like that.”

“I don’t anymore. I was young, Gillian. You have to–”

“I had just found out I was having a girl, Axel,” I go on, eyes filling again with tears. “Besides, you wouldn’t even look at me, acknowledge my existence. I was already tearing myself inside, forcing myself to go to you and going through the humiliation of asking for your attention to tell you something hard, and then hearing that? How could I in good conscience invite her father into her life when he spoke about women like that?”

Axel’s mouth droops open. “You could have told me the other night.”

My eyes widen.

“You should have told me the other night, Gillian,” he says with a firm nod. “I know I said shitty things when I was younger. I don’t have an excuse. But I’ve grown up now. I’m trying to step up. I made it clear to you that Stella is not a problem to me. She’s a part of you. That I want.”

I don’t know what to say. There are a million things I could say but all of them would pale in comparison to the hurt I’ve caused him.

“I didn’t deserve to know? Still?”

I swallow. “Of course you did. I’m sorry. I was…scared.”

We are all silent for a long time.

Abruptly, Axel pushes himself up from his chair. “I have to go.”

My body surges to follow him as he heads toward the door. “Wait–” I grab his arm.

He continues to pull away. “I need time to think, Gillian.”

“But –“

“Please, I can’t–”

“We’ve already lost so much time, Axel,” I say tearfully. “Can’t we sit and…” I lose my ability to speak when I see how his green eyes are filled with an indescribably amount of pain. The pain I’ve caused him, the pain he’s helped caused himself.

Together, we have created quite the mess. And god, does it hurt.

“I just need some time to think, alright?”

If it weren’t for Lola’s hand sliding onto my shoulder, I’d never let go. If I let him walk away, who is to say he’ll ever come back? “Let him go, Gillian. It’s okay.”

I release his arm and step back. As soon as he’s free to leave, he disappears through the door. My legs give out and I drop to the floor, crying more tears than I know what to do with. How could I have let this happen? Why did I wait so long? Why did I take him away from her? Away from us.

More importantly, why did I keep the thing Stella wants most from her for so long?

Lola sinks down to the ground with me and wraps her arms around me. “Shhh…Honey, it’s okay.”

“What’s wrong with me?” I weep.

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