Page 75 of Enemy Ex's Secret Baby

I shake my head. “Well, look what good that did.”

“Do you think I’m an idiot, Axel?” Lola cries out. “Do you think I haven’t seen the way you two have looked at each other since Gillian hit puberty? I mean, come on, I’m not a dummy.”

Gillian’s eyes shoot to me. Now it’s my turn to look away. Lola isn’t wrong. Gillian was always my kid sister’s best friend. I was older, more mature. And then that day when she skinned her knee. From then on, whenever she showed up at the house looking for Lola, she wasn’t a kid anymore. She was beautiful. And I’d never been able to look at her the same after that.

I resisted as long as I could.

“Shitting where you eat is a foolish thing to do, that’s all,” Lola says.

“Lola,” Gillian scolds. “It wasn’t like that!”

“Then what was it like?” Lola asks; there’s a glint in her eye. It’s a leading question, a question she already knows the answer to.

Gillian’s eyes fill with tears. “I had feelings for him. I mean, why would I have had a baby by myself if…” she trails off and looks at me. Now I have the strength not to look away.

Everything hurts. My brain, my heart, every single nerve in my body. I can see how much pain she’s in. And I also have to take care of myself. She betrayed me, took away six years of my child’s life from me. At the same time, she had my baby because she cared for me so deeply, she couldn’t think of another way…even if I didn’t deserve it.

How does a man deal with that?

“I know you did, Gill,” Lola says with a tender smile. Then, she looks at me. “You did too.”

Did? “I do have feelings for Gillian. Present tense,” I say softly.

Gillian blinks, tears streaking down her face. Part of me wants to dry them. The other part is too hurt to think of helping her in this moment.

“You feel that way too?” Lola asks Gillian.

“Why aren’t you mad?” Gillian shoots back. “You always said you could never forgive me if something like this happened. You always said–”

“Not love Gillian. Not if you loved each other.”

I do not confirm or deny that I feel this way. It’s not a word we’ve spoken to one another and not one I want someone to speak for me. But I have to wonder, if I didn’t love her, would this all be so painful?

“And the second I found out that Stella belonged to my brother…”

“Oh my god,” I whisper to myself. It’s still sinking in.

“…that’s when I knew how you really felt for him. And you–” Lola grabs me by the arm. “You don’t care what any woman thinks of you except for Gillian. And me of course, but that’s beside the point. She’s the only woman you have ever felt the need to defend your character from. I just knew that meant something.”

I close my eyes, my jaw tightening. “If you knew, why the hell didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you save us all this trouble to–”

“Because you’re a fucking grown ass man, Axel!” Lola says firmly. “It’s not my job to fight your battles for you. You both needed to grow up and stop putting your pride above your feelings. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been heartbreaking to watch all these years, especially knowing what I knew, but…better late than never, right?”

If this was just about me and Gillian, yeah. Better late than never. But it’s about more than that. It’s about my child. Our child.

“I can tell you’re upset, Axel,” Gillian says. Her face is wet with tears. “So, go ahead. Say what you’re feeling.”

Lola’s hand tightens on me, warning me to be nice. I don’t need to punish her. But I need her to see how much this hurts.

Because there’s a hole in my heart six years wide I didn’t know existed until just now. How can she fill that up?

25

GILLIAN

He looks like a wounded animal who will snap at me if I try to aid in his recovery. And I can’t say I blame him. A part of me is heartened that finding out has hurt him. Not because that was my intention (or maybe it was the slightest bit) but because that means he cares enough that missing out on Stella’s first years of life feels painful.

“You kept her from me,” he says.

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