Page 35 of Enemy Ex's Secret Baby

On the other…it feels so wrong. I can feel it in my gut. And I’m not that type of person. I’m not like…well, I’m not like Gillian. I don’t believe in the power of impulses or the universe guiding me with a kind hand or whatever the fuck. I have always dealt with facts, figures, and plots of land.

Not feelings.

It’s partway through the yammering in my head that I realize what I need most. Peace and quiet. Rare to find that in LA. But I know a place.

I follow the PCT down its aching winds until I’ve finally lost the hordes of traffic. The sun is just starting to lower, sending sprays of color through the sky. Perfect timing. Since it’s spring, it’s not quite as warm as the tourists would like it to be, so they’re already clearing off the beach.

I get out of the car and open the trunk, ditching my leather shoes for canvas flipflops and pulling a thick sweatshirt over my button down. I always have stuff on hand for an impromptu walk through nature.

It was something I was able to do a lot more often when I wasn’t a workaholic. Hiking, surfing, swimming. I miss that guy.

For now, though, I’ll revisit him.

I start walking down the beach to my spot. Or should I say my mother’s spot. There’s a pocket of rocks that make it look like the beach has ended, especially at high tide. But if you catch it just right, you can sneak past in ankle deep water and find a perfect little cove, untouched by people, where you can sit and think.

I haven’t been there in…a while. I told myself I didn’t need it.

But that wasn’t it.

I just couldn’t stand to be reminded of her.

The tide is halfway when I make it to the rocky outcrop. I pull up the front of my pants and wade through the water. It sloshes around my calves.

I take a deep breath as I round the corner, ready to feel my mother’s presence.

However, I am thrown completely off-balance when I see someone is already sitting on my private beach.

The last person I’d like to see.

“Gillian,” I say, my mouth already starting to go dry. “What are you doing here?”

Gillian looks up and gets to her knees. “Oh my god, sorry, I didn’t know you’d–” She picks up the blanket she was sitting on. “I’ll go, I’ll–”

“No, no. It’s fine, you don’t have to go.” My stomach knots as I remember the last time the two of us were here together. I had brought her here to show her the spot. My secret spot. And we’d…It’s not worth thinking about it. That’s so far away. “I mean. I’m not going to make you.”

“If you want to be alone, I’ll go. Really.”

“It’s okay.” I take a few steps forward, my feet making deep imprints in the sand. “Actually, can I join you?”

Gillian considers my question for a moment. I think if we were anywhere else in the world, she’d tell me to eat dirt. But she knows what this spot means to me. She wouldn’t do that here.

Even at her worst, she’s kind of the best.

“Yeah. Sure.” She spreads out the blanket again. I help her straighten out the edges. Then, the two of us sit down and fall into silence as we look out at the water.

“I, uh…didn’t know you still came out here,” I say softly.

I notice Gillian flush out of the corner of my eye. “Um. Well, yeah. It’s a good spot. To clear your head.”

“Do you come here a lot?”

She looks at me bashfully and nods. But then she quickly shakes her head. “I mean. You know, when I can. Which isn’t that often, I guess. The bakery and Stella take up most of my time. Wish I could get out here more, honestly.”

“Where’s Stella now?”

“She’s…with my dad. Maybe I’m a bad mom, but I just needed some time to myself.”

I smile solemnly. “Gillian, you’re definitely not a bad mom. Everyone needs a moment alone sometimes.”

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