Page 97 of How Jenna Became My Dilemma

But what if I really don’t? What if I keep sabotaging relationships because I want to be alone for the rest of my life?

JENNA

* * *

I exit out the back of the club. My driver leans against the side of his car but straightens when he sees me.

“Miss Lewis.” He nods as he holds the car door open for me.

“Hi, Michael.” I move to climb inside but stop when I hear Cody’s voice.

“Jenna, wait!”

His steps are rushed as he runs to me, and I seriously want to fire my treacherous heart for being so excited that he came after me. Like, whose side are you on, anyway?

“Don’t go. Not like this.” Cody holds the door, boxing out Michael until he gets the point and walks around to his side of the car.

“Like what?” This will be the performance of my lifetime. He can never know how much his indifference hurt me. I shrug, mustering the best smile my broken soul can manage. “I’m fine, Cody. I’m just tired. We’ve been running like crazy and just got home early this morning from Tampa. I’m going to go home and sleep.”

“See, and I think you’re leaving because I didn’t answer your question back there. It’s not that I didn’t want to answer it; I just couldn’t. This isn’t me being classic ‘Cody Banner.’” He puts his name in air quotes. “I’m not playing games or anything like that. I just don’t want to promise you something I can’t follow through on.”

I know.

I’ve always known that at the end of this, when the series promotion and the fake relationship are over and done, Cody and I would end. It might not be for the reasons I originally thought. I no longer think he’s some player intentionally messing with my feelings for the sport of it. He’s just not built for relationships or marriage. A man incapable of giving love a chance, pre-wired for a life of singlehood. He told me himself back in Malibu.

I’ve known all along.

I tried to protect myself from it but failed miserably.

He broke my heart, but not because he wanted to or meant to.

It’s just what happened.

I can stick around and keep letting it happen until we’ve gone too far down that path, or I can end things now.

“I know,” I say with a sad smile, placing my hand on his chest. “And I still want more. So let’s just call it what it is: a fake relationship that, for a moment, got a little too real.”

He places his hand on top of mine, holding both against his body. “It’s more than that.”

The fact that it was more to him is a little consoling. A broken heart over something real sits a lot better than a broken heart over something fake.

So I’ll take my consolation prize and leave with my head held high.

I smile big. “I had a lot of fun with you. You really are a great guy, Cody. Don’t let the media tell you otherwise.” I lean onto my toes, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. “I’ll see you soon, okay?” I slip my fingers out from under his hand and drop into the car. He doesn’t hold the door, just lets me close it. “Let’s go, Michael.”

The car slowly pulls away as I watch Cody stand on the curb with his hand still pressed over his heart.

We make it about ten feet when the tears start. I press my head against the seat and close my eyes as teardrop after teardrop roll down each side of my face, curling over my jawline and continuing onto my chest.

Why does this keep happening to me?

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

JENNA

The wing of the airplane slices through some clouds as I look out the window.

It looks like I’m running.

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