Page 80 of How Jenna Became My Dilemma

What he means is, let’s give Cody and Jenna a second to cool off so this very fake and fictional kiss no longer turns them on.

More whispers travel through the room.

I prefer the hives over this level of emotional humiliation.

Cody’s piercing stare follows me as I walk out of the room.

CODY

* * *

When you’re an actor, nobody thinks twice when you live your life in fiction, when you become your character. In fact, they shower you with compliments. Congratulate you on immersing yourself in your role. Admire you for being so committed to your craft. Heck, they even give you awards for staying so true with your portrayal.

Well, where’s my freaking Academy Award?

Because what just happened in there was the complete and total embodiment of my character—that’s the lie I’m going to tell myself because the truth is too damning.

We did the kiss scene in one take.

Do you know how rare the one-take wonder is? It’s rare.

Quinton kept the cameras rolling when Jenna and I finally broke apart. I guess our shocked and dazed expressions were good enough to use in the episode. All we had to do was pick up our lines from after the kiss and finish the dialogue.

I’m not sure if I should be relieved that we didn’t have to kiss again or completely depressed.

“Hey, you okay?” Teague pops his head into my trailer after filming.

I look up from my spot at the dining table. “One take.”

He shoots me a sly smile. “Were you hoping for more chances to kiss Jenna?”

“I think I kissed her plenty good the first time.”

“You really got into it, didn’t you?”

“Was it that obvious?”

“Uh, yeah.” He coughs out a laugh.

I swipe my hand down my face, trying to wipe the memory out of my mind. Not specifically the kiss memory, just the memory of losing myself during filming and everyone knowing it.

“Relax. It’s not that big of a deal.” Teague steps inside, letting the door shut behind him. “A lot of actors get lost in on-screen kisses. That’s why there are intimacy coaches. You’re trying to make it look real, so real feelings are going to get involved. It happens all the time.”

But not to me.

I press my clenched fist against my mouth, not sure what to say.

He takes my silence as permission to keep his speech going. “It’s the sign of a good method actor when you take your character’s feelings and make them your own.”

“I know what method acting is.”

The problem is, I wasn’t method acting.

I wasn’t acting at all when I kissed Jenna.

I wasn’t thinking about Trev, the story, or what the scene called for. I was only thinking about what I wanted. Because if I were thinking about her or the movie, I wouldn’t have behaved that way. I wouldn’t have lost myself in the kiss or how good it felt to hold her in my arms. From the moment our lips touched, all reason and logic were abandoned, replaced by strong emotional and physical desires.

“So you’re a good method actor, right alongside Daniel Day-Lewis or Leo DiCaprio. It’s fine. That’s when the magic happens.”

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