Page 69 of How Jenna Became My Dilemma

I glance away from him, channeling Renna’s hurt and pain. “I saw them,” I deliver my line with an edge.

“Oh, I thought I saw you leave with Drake.”

“I did leave the fireworks display.” My mind flashes to a vision of my notes from this scene and the highlighted stage cue to fold my arms. I cut my gaze to Cody and cross my arms over my chest. “But I saw the ones later that night.”

Cody feigns confusion. “What fireworks? I don’t understand.”

“You know, the ones between you and Seran in the royal living room.”

We filmed that yesterday, and to be honest, I’m surprised by how little acting I needed to do for that scene. Watching Cody kiss Kylee Truro, who plays Seran, was like a punch to the gut over and over again. I think we did thirteen takes of that scene to get all the different camera angles. That’s thirteen times Cody had to kiss Kylee. I know it’s fake and acting, and there’s absolutely nothing romantic about having so many people hover and watch, but still, their kisses put twisty, jealous feelings in my stomach.

In that moment, I really did feel like my character, Renna Degray, making it easy to draw upon those jealous feelings for this scene too.

I wait for Cody to say his line, then harden my jaw as I deliver mine. “Your kiss with Seran.”

“You saw that?”

“I wasn’t spying or anything. I just wanted to tell you something, but you were”—I press my lips into a tight smile just like the script choreographed—“busy, and I didn’t want to interrupt your intimate moment.”

In real life, I totally wanted to interrupt Cody and Kylee’s intimate moment. Moments—thirteen of them, to be exact. I wanted to yell, ‘CUT!’ or, ‘That’s a wrap!’ but no. Camera angles and lighting took precedence over my feelings.

But it’s fine.

The jealousy was a small lapse in judgment, a time when I let my character’s feelings intermingle with my own. I mean, I don’t even like Cody, so why do I care if he kisses a stunning brunette with full lips and dark eyes?

“It wasn’t an intimate moment,” Cody—er, Trev—says.

Ha! I want to roll my eyes, but I don’t because I don’t care.

And neither does Renna Degray. So I pull my shoulders back and answer for the both of us. “It looked pretty intimate to me. Anyway, I’m happy for you both.” I lift my chin and slip past Cody, continuing my ascent up the stairs, mindful, as always, not to trip on my dress.

“Renna?” Cody touches my arm, and my skin zings. It zings!

It’s been two days since our fake brunch, since I felt the warmth of his fingers on me, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss this feeling.

Wish for it.

Desire it.

Crave it.

I’m like an addict who needs her fix.

Cody’s eyes lock on mine, and his lips tilt. My heartbeat builds, and all I can think about is staying in this feeling, in this zing, for as long as possible.

That’s why I don’t immediately pull away like I’m supposed to—like Renna needs to.

“Jenna,” Quinton says, circling his fingers around, “let’s do it again, but this time, immediately pull away when Cody grabs your arm. Stay there for his last few lines, then once you say yours, turn and go.”

I drop my arm, nodding as I go back to the original step I started on. Everyone repositions, and I start again with my last line and then begin walking up the steps.

“Renna?” Cody says, reaching for me, but I reluctantly pull away this time.

“I’m really busy. I have to go.” I force detachment into my voice even though the last thing I want right now is to be detached from Cody, but I focus as he finishes his monologue, pushing a giant smile on my face like Renna would.

“I’m not hurt.” I shake my head with my fake smile. “Like I said, I’m happy for you.” I turn and rush up the stairs until Quinton says cut.

The watching crew members clap.

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