Page 30 of How Jenna Became My Dilemma

“Eh, it was a long time ago.” I hold her stare, trying to convey that I genuinely appreciate it, but every tender moment of vulnerability has to stop somewhere, so I clap, startling Jenna, and carefully put my masked facade back in place. “But it’s fine. My dysfunctional teenage years led to bigger and better things.” I casually lean into the cushion. “What about you? Are your parents screwed up too?”

Jenna frowns. “I still have so many questions about your upbringing, but I’ll save them for another time and switch to me out of fairness.” She brushes her hair back from her face as she thinks. “I wouldn’t say my parents are screwed up. My dad is a little difficult. Everything is his way or the highway, but it hasn’t been a big problem in our family. We just know how he is.” Meaning everyone just passively lets him get away with being a jerk—I can read between the lines well enough. “He’s a little hard on my brother with all the sports stuff. You know, demands a lot of perfection from him.”

“But not you?”

“I’m his baby girl.” She shrugs innocently. “It’s not the same. I’m already perfect in his eyes.”

“And your mom?”

“He’s not the nicest to her, but deep down, I know he loves her.”

“I meant, what’s your relationship like with your mom?”

“Oh.” A spark of embarrassment flits across her face. “I guess there’s some truth to what you said earlier. My mom’s goals became my goals. She probably did live vicariously through me. Pushed her ideals onto me. From a young age, I knew I always had to look my best. It wasn’t ladylike to show flaws. But in her defense, I think my father demands perfection from her. It’s all she’s known, so she taught it to me.”

This insight into Jenna's family explains a lot about her and the way I’ve perceived her on set—the overanalyzing of each scene and the need for detailed explanations. It’s all so she can appear perfect and not show any weakness.

“Okay, next question.” She abruptly changes the subject without warning. I guess it’s a little hard for everyone to take a subjective look into their family and past. Her eyes whip to me. “Would you spontaneously take a trip with someone you just met?”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing here?”

“No.” She laughs, and I’m glad to see her pure joy again. “We didn’t just meet. We just don’t like each other.”

I twist my body, facing her more. “No, you decided you didn’t like me from day one.”

“And what? You wanted to be best friends as soon as we met?”

“Why not?”

Jenna’s smile fades, and she looks away. “We’re too different.”

“Opposites attract.”

“Not in this case.”

Her resolve to dislike me stirs up a determination to win her approval.

She picks up her phone again. “Blonde, brunette, or redhead?” Her eyes bounce to me with a warning. “And don’t say all three.”

I hold her stare. “Blonde.”

And that’s not even a line. I’ve always been a sucker for tall blondes, exactly like the woman sitting one cushion apart from me.

“I bet.” She blows my answer off, glancing at the list. “What was your first kiss like?”

“Sloppy.”

“Mine too.” She laughs. “What was your best kiss like?”

“Every kiss is the best kiss.” Jenna rolls her eyes at my remark. “And you? What was your best kiss like?”

She answers without hesitation. “I’m still waiting for it.”

“I would’ve thought a woman like you would’ve been thoroughly kissed by now.”

“Oh, I’ve been thoroughly kissed by a long line of men who only wanted to date me because I’m a model or because being with me would help their career or elevate their status. But I’m still waiting for a life-changing kiss from a man who loves me for me. That’ll be the difference maker.”

“So you’ve never been in love or in a serious relationship?”

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