Page 105 of How Jenna Became My Dilemma

“I told her to do it anyway.”

“So we’re broken up?”

“Yes.”

“Come on!” I kick my foot as if there’s an imaginary ball that I want to launch over the wall I just fell off of. I glance at Michael, the driver, who’s slowly placing luggage on her porch as if he wants to see how my temper tantrum plays out. None of this is the romantic gesture I had in my mind.

“Cody, I’m tired and have jetlag, so can we just talk about this tomorrow?”

I didn’t calculate jetlag into the equation. That seems like something I should’ve thought about.

“I don’t know.” I throw my arms up, frustrated by how bad this is all going. “I didn’t show up here to talk about the breakup, but whatever. I’ll just come back tomorrow.” I spin like I’m going to leave.

“I got your text.”

I about-face so fast I’d put any soldier to shame.

“You did? I mean, I know you did, but you didn’t text me back, so I didn’t know what you thought about it.”

Her expression softens, giving me some encouragement. “I thought it was cute.”

My lips lift. “I hoped it was cute.”

“It was cute.”

Michael has stalled long enough, and with no other luggage to carry up to Jenna’s porch, he climbs in the car. We watch as the vehicle slowly rolls forward, and I’ve never been so happy to wave goodbye to someone in my entire life.

When his taillights round the corner, I turn to Jenna. “Real or fake?”

“What?”

“Was the connection between us real or fake? For you? I know you didn’t like me at first, and everything about me repulsed you, and I was the last man on earth that you’d ever want to be with, but—”

“Cody, I was never repulsed by you.”

“I have several months of memories that prove otherwise.”

She laughs, shaking her head. “That’s just what I had to do to protect my heart. When it came to my feelings for you, it was always the opposite. I pushed you away because I knew that the second I let you in, I’d completely fall for you. You’re everything that I can’t stay away from.”

“That sounds more like a bad thing than a good thing, but I’m choosing to spin it into a positive and go back to my first question because everything else I have to say depends on your answer.” I look deep into her eyes. “Real or fake?”

“Real.” She shrugs.

“Same.” I take a step forward, trying to keep my smile in check. That was only the first hurdle of many that I need to get over. “While in a fake relationship with Jenna Lewis, I fell for her: real.”

“Cody, it’s not really about whether or not our feelings are legit. It’s about what happens next if they are. A relationship between us doesn’t make sense. We both want different things.”

“I’ve thought a lot about that.” I hold my finger up like I have a really valid point to make. “And I think I can meet you halfway.”

“I don’t want halfway. I want the entire fantasy.”

“If that’s what you want, then that’s what I want too. I just don’t want to lose you.”

“And I don’t want you to completely change something about yourself just because of me.”

“That’s what I love about you. You have this unique ability to take a screwed-up guy like me and turn him into something better. Half the things you’ve got me doing don’t even make sense. I just turned down action and thriller roles to play the part of a single dad who falls in love with his son’s teacher, because I like the heart and the message behind the movie. And next week, I’m meeting with a lawyer to discuss how I can start a charity to help kids caught in custody battles. I spent one hour after my lunch with Dallas yesterday, signing autographs and taking selfies with fans on the street. Like, what is even happening?

“I’m unrecognizable from the man I once was, which is great because I’m not even sure I liked that old version of myself. And I know the change is all because of you. Your goodness rubs off on people. You’ve made me a better man, given me hope for things that I’ve never dared have hope about. And the best part is, you don’t tell me to change in order to fit in with your life; you just accept me for who I am.”

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