Page 103 of How Jenna Became My Dilemma

“I don’t know.” I sigh. “I just don’t think it’s smart for me to commit to something I don’t even believe in.”

Dallas’s eyes show disappointment. “Cody, I thought you finally wanted to grow up.”

“I do.”

I think.

I say I do, but what if I don’t really mean it? What if I like pushing people away, using my parents as justification for my immaturity?

“Stop running from everything you’re scared of. If you love Jenna, go after her. If you want to be with her, be with her. If you want a marriage to last, fight for it. You and Jenna decide how this all ends. The effort you put in is what makes it last. So grow up and put the effort in.”

Look at Mr. L.L. Bean coming in strong with advice on love. I thought I hired Dallas to make me likable, but maybe I hired him to be my relationship coach. If this whole publicity thing doesn’t work out for him, he definitely has a future in love and relationship therapy.

I suck in a deep breath. “I want to put the effort in, but I think we might be too late. If Jenna is initiating this breakup, then she’s already decided she wants nothing to do with me.”

“And you’re just going to accept that?”

“Well…” My shoulders sink. “I don’t know what else to do.”

“Are you a man? Or are you a man?”

“Is that a trick question?”

He picks up his phone in exasperation.

I lean in, trying to get a glimpse of his screen. “What are you doing?”

“I’m texting Tawny and telling her not to leak the breakup story.”

I point to his phone. “Good idea. We’re not breaking up. We’re sticking this relationship out for better or worse. I’m not letting Jenna get rid of me.” But I’m at a disadvantage because I have no clue when she’s coming home. I point to Dallas’s phone again. “Can you also find out from Tawny when Jenna’s flight gets in? She said we could talk when she gets home, so I’m going to show up at her house and tell her...” I pause because saying these words feel big. “I guess I’m going to tell her I love her.”

“That’s the spirit.” Dallas gives an approving nod.

I love Jenna.

It’s crazy, and exciting, and completely scares me.

But it is what it is. I love her and can’t live without her, so I better start figuring out how to get over my fears about marriage so I can be the man she deserves.

* * *

That night after lunch with Dallas and all the personal strides I’ve made with my own feelings, I sit down to send Jenna a text. I’ve erased and rewritten, erased and rewritten, but I finally think I’ve come up with the perfect text to send to her:

Cody: Fine. I can admit that Jenna Lewis has the most exquisite legs, butt, and chest I’ve ever seen. I don’t need to zoom in on a picture to know that. I’ve witnessed it firsthand. And I can also admit that, yes, I’m falling for her sweet, caring, intelligent, multi-talented, number-counting mind. And I already know whether or not she’s a good kisser in real life and in front of the cameras. But I also know that I miss her and can’t live without her.

I push send, hoping that my imitation text comes across as cute, not cringy. But once it’s gone, I panic.

I cannot believe I just sent that.

I think it might be cringy.

Should I delete it?

I should probably delete it before Jenna has the chance to read it.

But then I see the little ‘read’ sign at the bottom of the text. There’s no turning back now. I wait for the dots. There are no dots. Why are there no dots?

For the next two hours, I drive myself crazy, checking my phone every two seconds just in case I’ve missed her response.

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