Page 40 of Montana Rain

“I can hear your teeth chattering all the way from the other room.” I set her down on the side of the bed opposite mine. “I’m cold too. We both need the warmth, and we’ll both sleep better. Basic survival, combining resources.”

I slipped back under the covers, spreading her blankets over the ones on the bed so they all covered us both. Already, it was better. Reaching across under the blankets, I tugged Rayne toward me, folding her body into mine until her face was tucked beneath my chin.

She blew out a shaky breath. “I’m still not having sex with you.”

Laughing, I held her tighter, enjoying the relief of warmth. “Don’t worry, princess. I didn’t expect it. But don’t lie and say this isn’t better already.”

She didn’t.

We were both freezing, but slowly, the pocket beneath the blankets where we were warmed up, far better than it could when we were alone. Our bodies relaxed, and it no longer felt like an awkward embrace for survival. Now I was aware of how soft Rayne’s body was against mine and resisted the urge to stroke my hand down her spine.

This was so much better.

I drifted, dozing, but I couldn’t sleep. Not when I was finally exactly where I needed to be. Based on the way Rayne kept moving subtly as well, she wasn’t sleeping either.

“You still awake, princess?”

“Why do you call me that?”

Nerves stuttered in my chest. It had just started naturally, and I hadn’t fully examined why. But I wasn’t sure I was ready to admit the depth of it. Princess because she ruled over me already, no matter how little had happened between us. Princess because I wanted to treat her like one. Princess because she glided through life, easily distant, and I wanted to be the one who broke the barriers she kept up. “Why not?”

“I’m not a princess,” she murmured. “Not even close.”

“Why do you say that?”

She stayed quiet, and I gently shifted her closer, leaning back a little so she rested on my chest. She didn’t resist.

The real question I’d been dying to ask hovered on my lips. Was this the right time?

Yes.

Here in the dark and the warmth, it was easier to admit things that were difficult. Because this didn’t seem real. We were in a pocket world that would disappear when the sun rose and the snow quieted.

“Can I ask you something?” I whispered, my lips brushing her temple. It could have been a coincidence, but I felt her shiver.

“Yes.”

“Why do you keep pushing me away?” I kept the words gentle. “Why do you keep saying you can’t? I know I’m an arrogant prick and I get under your skin. But while I’m working on the arrogant thing, I won’t apologize for riling you up. I love the blush on your cheeks when you’re about to strangle me.”

We both laughed softly.

“There’s something standing in between us, and it’s not me. I can’t explain to you how I know, but I do. Please tell me why, so I can understand.”

Rayne tightened her hands on my back, clinging to me even if she wasn’t fully aware of it. “You noticed?”

“Rayne.” Her entire tone was deflection. Whatever went through her head when she talked about this, it scared her. “For tonight, let’s pretend we’re not who we are. There’s no one outside of this room but the two of us. Let’s not lie, and let’s not keep up the shields we normally have. Please.”

It was as honest as I could be with her. My vulnerability lay on my chest like an open book.

She was silent and still for a long time. So long, I wondered if she’d actually fallen asleep. Then, so softly I barely heard it above the wind, she spoke. “You scare me.”

My body went rigid, and her hand moved to my chest. “No, not like that. Never like that… You scare me because of what you bring out in me.”

I relaxed again, the terror in my limbs seeping out of me. If I’d made her afraid of me in that way—like I would ever hurt her—I would never forgive myself. I could be an asshole, no question, but I would never hurt her or push her beyond what she really wanted. Even in the cold, if she refused to be in this bed, I would let her go.

“Why?” I asked her.

She groaned, hiding her face in my chest like it wasn’t me she was hiding from. “Because you make me feel. You make me want. And especially now, I can’t do it, Cole. I can’t let you in, because if I do, I’ll lose you.”

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