“No.” She smiles and leans forward to lay a hand over mine. “Not yet. Just, give me some time, okay? I want to make sure we do this right.”
“We are doing this right.” I scratch Betty’s favorite spot, a little soft area right behind her left ear. “There’s no way we can do it wrong when it’s me and you, Riv. But I’ll respect your wishes. For now.”
“Poppy hasn’t even moved in with Rhett yet, and they’re practically married.”
“Bad example,” I tell her. “Poppy basically lives there. I think she’s spent the night at her little cabin like once since they told the kids. Rhett says Jolene and Wade get too upset when she goes to leave, and she ends up stayin’.”
“Yeah, well, they’ve had longer than us to decide it’s what they want.”
“We’ve had since we were six.”
She snorts. “There is no winning with you.”
“Nope.” I smile big and lean forward to grab her hands. Giving her a firm pull, I move her on top of my thighs so she’s straddling me. Betty doesn’t even flinch. Just lies there and watches us as she tries not to drift off.
“I’m not saying I don’t want this to go somewhere,” she says softly, running her fingers through my five-o’clock shadow. “I do. I really, really do. And I want to say yes to moving in with you.”
That really gets me smilin’. Maybe she’s gonna give in.
“But…” she continues, and I deflate a little. “I want to go a bit slower than that. I just…”
“Tell me, firefly. You can tell me anything.” I kiss her palm.
“I’m actively trying not to let what happened in our past dictate what or how I feel in the present. But it does. There’s a lot of trust to rebuild there.”
She pauses, looking a bit worried. Like she isn’t sure she should keep going, but I can take it. I want to hear all of her anxieties and thoughts so I can help her work through them.
“I’m still a little worried that I’m just the flavor of the month.” She cringes when she says it. “It’s a very, very small part of my brain that’s saying that. But it’s there, and I can’t seem to make it shut up.”
“I think that’s okay.” I hold her tight. “I think after everything we’ve been through, I have a lot to make up for, and your brain is just reminding you of that. I don’t like that you feel that way, but it just makes me more determined to prove that brain of yours wrong.”
Her smile wavers, and for a second, I think she has more to say. But whatever it was, it’s gone quickly, and she’s leaning in to kiss me.
“I gotta go get ready for work,” she mumbles against my lips. But I don’t want to let her go. I hold her tighter, my fingers digging into her ass while her hands try to gently push me away.
“I’d prefer you just stay here. We can find something a bit more fun to do…”
“I am approaching the barn!” Wells’ voice drifts in through the wide-open doors. “I repeat, I am approaching the barn!”
“You think I’m gonna let him do anything inappropriate in public like this?” she asks him as he walks inside. “Please. I have a little more class than that.”
“I know you do,” Wells tells her as she climbs up off my lap. “But he doesn’t.”
“I’ve got work tonight, so I’m about to head out. Take care of my girl?”
“Always.” Wells gives her his signature megawatt smile. “I think she’s almost ready to go home with you. What do you think?”
“That’s what I said.” I stand up and shut the door to Betty’s little room. “But she wants to be out of her mom’s house first. I gave her a perfectly acceptable offer, and she turned me down.”
“For the record,” Wells says, lookin’ at River, “Rhett and I both told him it was too soon.” His eyes move back to me. “Told you it was too soon.”
“Y’all are both thorns in my ass.” I throw an arm around River and kiss the side of her head. “But not you, darlin’. Let me walk you out.”
I’m at work the next day, and I can’t stop thinking about my conversation with Hayes. How he asked me to move in with him and how I chickened out again when it came to telling him about Addie’s funeral. I wanted to say yes so badly. I wanted to run to my house, throw all of my crap into the Jeep, and drive as fast as possible back to his house.
But I know I can’t do that until I come clean. I can’t live with someone when there are still things we need to discuss. It was on the tip of my tongue when I was explaining how I’m working through my trust issues. It was so close to just falling out of my mouth, but fear ground everything to a halt.
He’s going to be so pissed when he finds out I saw him in that state and still chose to go back to the city. I abandoned him, and I’m terrified for him to find out.