Page 69 of Their Diamond Ring Ruse

In every way that mattered, Henry was his father. Julian listened to him, emulated him when he could, had moved to San Francisco to be closer to him. Why had it taken him so long to see it? He couldn’t have loved the man more even if he was blood.

‘Not many people get that lucky,’ Henry went on. ‘You might not because you have something special in front of you right now. Are you going to let the woman you love slip through your fingers?’

He didn’t want to. No part of him wanted to say goodbye to Lily but it was so hard to think of himself as someone worthy of her. What if he hurt her? He couldn’t survive that. What if one day he grew angry and lost his temper with her just like Vincent had done? That would be unforgivable. Except he really wasn’t like Vincent, was he? His darkness grew out of hatred and pain, but he always tried to be better than his stepfather. Tried to be more like Henry. The man who was looking at him with love and pride. Even when he had made a mistake Henry never turned his back on him.

If a man like Henry was willing to believe in Julian, why wasn’t he willing to believe in himself? With Lily, he was everything he’d ever wanted to be. She brought out the best in him and he loved her. So much that he was willing to let her go and find love with someone else. He’d suffer for it, but he’d be at peace knowing she was happy.

Except she wasn’t, from what Henry had said, and if being together could make them both happy why should he keep punishing himself? Punishing them both?

Their love wouldn’t be like his mother’s. It wouldn’t be a trap filled with torment. His and Lily’s love was something bright and pure.

‘No, I’m not.’

He looked at his watch. If he rushed, he could make it to Crème before Lily closed up.

‘You can lock up on your way out.’

Henry sat back, his expression a mixture of smugness and pride.

Julian paused on his way inside the house and threw over his shoulder, ‘I met my father that day too, Henry.’

* * *

Crème was still open when Julian came to a screaming stop in a parking bay close to the entrance. Relief, fear and excitement all coursed through him in equal measure. It had been weeks since he had last seen Lily, and as he got out of his car and quietly walked into the store a strange sense of peace overcame him. The feeling of coming back home after a long time away.

He watched her smiling at customers, but the moment they left that smile vanished. He had done that, and he would beg her forgiveness for it.

She didn’t look up. Not once. Paying attention instead to the display she was refilling, her back turned to him. For a moment he was frozen. Stuck on everything he should say. On whether she would let him say the words. If she would let him hold her.

‘How much are the cinnamon rolls?’ he asked, in his low voice over her shoulder.

Lily whipped around. Surprise, happiness, anger, sadness—all passed over her face in quick succession. A rainbow of emotion that ended with nothing...just a blank look when she saw him standing before her in jeans and a sweater.

‘Julian.’ Her voice was careful. ‘What are you doing here?’

His heart beat frantically. He wanted her back, but it had to be her choice. He would lay himself bare to her and then she could decide if he was worthy. Whatever her decision, he would accept it. But he had to try.

‘I needed to see you. Talk to you.’

She shook her head. Swallowed once. Then twice. ‘It’s been weeks, Julian. I think the time to talk is gone.’

She pushed past him to the door, which she locked, flipping the sign to closed. She tried to walk past him again, but he grabbed her wrist, making her stop.

‘Please listen to me and after that I’ll go. Will you allow that?’

A light sweat broke out at the back of his neck.

‘You didn’t want me. You told me to leave,’ she said, pulling out of his grasp.

He tried to hide his wince. It hurt that she’d moved away from him, but if he was honest he deserved it. ‘I lied. I had to. I told you that you had no idea how good a liar I was.’

‘Was?’

He nodded. ‘I’m done with lying to myself...to you...to the world. I wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you, Lily.’

She regarded him coolly. Carefully concealing her feelings from him. And now he understood how she’d felt when she had wanted him to let go. To give up his control and just feel. Because he wanted so badly for her to yell at him, or pound her fists on his chest. Anything but this stillness.

‘Fine. Say what you came here to say and then you can leave.’

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