So much space to hold so little, but it didn’t need more. Didn’t need art or ostentatious furniture when all she could imagine doing was sitting in bed and watching the Bay. The unmistakable bridge was silhouetted against the morning sun, slowly showing hints of that bright orange colour.

Julian had created this for himself. A little piece of heaven that he didn’t invite anyone into. And she couldn’t blame him. Not after what he’d said. This was obviously his refuge, and he had invited her into it.

Her heart thumping at the knowledge, Lily tried to keep her head. Moving in with him was a necessary part of their ruse. They had chemistry—that had been evident from the start—and maybe he was coming to trust her, but if last night had been such a mammoth step in whatever their relationship was, wouldn’t Julian still be here this morning?

She thought back to how he had avoided her before. Was he doing the same now? Trying to push her away because he regretted saying too much? Being with her? After all it had been her first time. She had nothing to compare it to. What if it hadn’t been as good for him? Not nearly as life-altering?

That was entirely possible. She was inexperienced. He might have just been leaning into their attraction. Maybe in being with her he was trying to indulge so it wouldn’t be as potent any more. Would make their interactions more bearable for their plan.

The problem was that for her the lines were becoming blurred. This relationship wasn’t real, but everything she had felt the night before had been. Julian had confided in her and she had given him her virginity. Those things weren’t fake. So where did they go from here? Because she still wanted her freedom and Julian definitely wanted that energy deal.

Lily had to get out of this room.

But she was naked.

She stomped over to his closet, sliding the door open and stepping into a space that lit up when she walked in. Rows of suits and shirts sat neatly, evenly spaced on the rails. Ties, watches, shoes—everything perfectly displayed. Perfectly ordered.

‘This is why I need control, Lily.’

This was beyond control. This was keeping himself on an impossibly tight leash.

‘You make me want to lose control!’

She was chaos to him...and order and chaos were mutually exclusive. They could never have anything beyond this fake engagement.

Breathing suddenly became difficult, especially when she felt as if her heart was being split in two. She wanted more with him, but now she was faced with the evidence that it wasn’t possible, and it hurt so much more than she could have imagined.

She found a neatly folded white T-shirt and slipped it over her head. It was far too long on her, but that suited her just fine.

Fully intending to go to her room, dress as quickly as possible and leave, Lily stepped into the hallway and heard a metallic clang followed by a series of other strange noises. Following them, she came to the open door of a gym, and just as she reached it Julian walked through. Shirtless and sweaty.

Her mouth dried as she looked at him. Sweatpants sitting low on his hips. Buds in his ears. His hair damp and sticking to his forehead.

Lily reached to pluck one of the buds out of his ear and placed it in her own. She wrinkled her nose at the screamed-out lyrics, the aggressive thumping beat, and placed it back into his ear. She saw his lips twitch in amusement.

She’d just about turned to go back the way she’d come when he caught her wrist and pulled her back. The ear buds were in his hand now, which he was sliding into his pocket.

‘I was hoping you would sleep in,’ he said.

‘I’m late. I should be at Crème already.’

Why was this so awkward?

‘I’m certain you don’t have to be the one to open up every day. So why don’t you tell me why you’re really up so early?’

‘You weren’t in bed. I just thought... It really doesn’t matter. I should get dressed.’

‘You just thought...?’

She could see he wouldn’t let it go, and knew he’d probably be able to see straight through any lie. ‘I know last night was different for each of us,’ she said. ‘It probably wasn’t that enjoyable for you. But for me...’

Heat burned her face. She could only imagine how red it would be. And now, to her absolute mortification, he was trying not to smile.

‘That’s what you’re worried about?’

He tugged her into the gym, sitting her down at the end of a padded bench and kneeling in front of her, his hands on the tops of her thighs. Lily tugged the hem of her borrowed T-shirt further down.

‘Sunshine, last night was beyond words. I could have you every day in every way and it still wouldn’t be enough. I’m greedy for you. And leaving you asleep in that bed this morning, not waking you with my tongue and my fingers, took more strength than I knew I possessed.’