Page 62 of Their Diamond Ring Ruse

‘Yours,’ she managed on a broken breath, and his arms seemed to hold her even tighter.

He was coming apart now—just as she was—in a firestorm. She couldn’t get enough breath. They were going to set this whole house aflame. And those flames grew. From the depths of her, through her blood and her body, until she couldn’t hold it at bay any longer. And she erupted just as she heard Julian’s shout, felt his body tensing with hers. Rolling. Swaying. Holding on until they were both ash.

Limp.

Spent.

Bit by bit his grip loosened, as if he was coming back into his body and the animal was being caged away. He lifted his head, but only to press his forehead to hers, and she looked into glazed blue-green eyes and saw love and no small amount of caution.

He had let go, but she was still here. This bed, this home, was where she would always want to be, and tears slipped from her eyes at the realisation. She tried to dash them away, but he gently brushed them off her cheeks first.

She didn’t know why she was crying. She was happy. Happier than she ever remembered being. Despite the tears, she smiled. Broadly. Warmly. As if the sunshine was inside her.

* * *

Her face lit up like the sun, squeezing the breath from his lungs. Lily was so beautiful. So pure. Utterly perfect.

What are you doing, Julian? he asked himself.

And he knew then that he had to end this right now. It couldn’t go on a moment longer. He couldn’t be the one to extinguish that light from her eyes. Because he would. He knew it. He was dark, violent, filled with rage, and she would never deserve that.

She deserved a good man. As much as he hated the idea of her with anyone but him, it was the truth. He didn’t deserve her. And if he truly loved her he would let her go, so she could find a happy, free life.

But because he was weak, like his stepfather had always said he was, he let her pull him in for another kiss.

One more night. He’d give himself that. One more night.

So he lost himself in her lips and her scent and her sweet satin skin one last time.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

LILY WAS FAST ASLEEP, curled against Julian, when he woke. Her scent was all around him. Pulling him under. Drowning him in everything he felt for her. This was a once-in-a-lifetime love. He knew it as he knew his own name. He loved her so much he couldn’t breathe.

He had barely slept. When he had, he’d dreamed of her, and when he’d lain awake he’d held her close, as if she would disappear at any moment.

Mine.

That was what he had said the night before. The word played in his mind but he hadn’t intended to say it out loud. And she had said she was his. He wanted that desperately—but she couldn’t be. Nothing had changed.

She turned towards him in her sleep and he pulled her against him, his fingers threading through her hair. Forehead pressed against hers. He loved her, and he knew she loved him too. It should have made him happy, but it was only breaking him apart.

Love wasn’t enough. Not for him. It had done nothing to save the mother he’d loved, who had also loved his stepfather. The mother who had loved him so fiercely but who had never been able to choose him. It wasn’t enough for her to leave Vincent. Not even after he had broken Julian’s arm.

All that love but it didn’t make him worthy. He hadn’t been worthy enough for her to save, and he wasn’t worthy enough for Lily.

Vincent had called him many things over the years. To Julian, they were all true. He had been weak when he was younger. He wasn’t good enough, and he was most certainly selfish. Why else would he have taken Lily’s affection, knowing there could never be anything between them? And now she’d returned that affection, but he was going to cut her loose and fade into memory.

He had to.

She hadn’t chosen this relationship. She’d been thrust into it. By him. By his idea that they could use each other. But he had just used her desperation. He was going to make millions from their arrangement, and all she’d get was the life she was owed.

Opportunistic—that was what he was.

He had pulled her into his darkness. And there was only darkness in him. His soul hadn’t seen light. Not until she’d walked in at least. Julian couldn’t do this to her. He needed to protect her light. Couldn’t let her be tainted by him. He just had to look at all that he had done. In life, in business, Julian was ruthless. He’d earned that reputation. Revelled in it until it became a problem. Until it had hurt IRES.

Now he didn’t care about his company as much as he did Lily. He didn’t know when that had happened. He just knew that his mother was gone but Lily could still be protected—even from him. He would walk away and make her do so too. She would find happiness without him. His heart was in pieces now, but he would do this. For her. Anything for her.

Julian held her against his body tightly. Trying to imprint her into his soul. She would always be there. There would be no one else.

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