Page 54 of Their Diamond Ring Ruse

‘But once I saw what I could achieve I just looked forward.’

‘And that’s when you had this done?’

‘Yes.’

She looked again at the knotted bark and gnarled roots. The stunning leaves were hidden from her right now, but she refused to move from her position. She could guess the meaning of the tattoo now. To grow from something dead, something just trying to remain anchored into something that flourished. That triumphed. He’d survived his abuse, but when she thought about how disciplined he was, how he never wanted to lose control, she knew he hadn’t healed. He was still running from it. From that life.

‘And this one?’ she asked, running her fingers over the numbers on his chest to keep him talking.

He was silent for a moment. She looked up to see his eyes were closed.

‘My mother’s birthday.’

Her heart crumbled at the raw pain in his whispered words. The long string of roman numerals stood out boldly against his smooth, light skin. She pressed a kiss to it, then another. His fingers sank into her hair, their gentle touch only fuelling her anger further. Her devastation on his behalf.

It was a long while before she could trust herself to speak without her voice trembling. ‘What was she like?’

Something told Lily that, while he carried a constant reminder of her, Julian didn’t let himself think of his mother very often—and he needed to. She wanted to help him while he was being this open with her, because she had no idea when he would clam up. Which question would be one too many. When he would decide this was much too real for their arrangement and push her away.

The idea that he would was like a knife in her chest...

‘Alice Sullivan was...’

Sullivan? Lily thought. Probably his stepfather’s name.

‘She was wonderful. When it was just us two, she was happy and bubbly. Everyone loved her. But the more conspicuous her bruises became, the less she would go out or interact with anyone. Slowly that light died...but she still loved him.’

Lily tightened her arms around him.

‘Did you ever wish for things to be different? For your mother to have left?’

‘Yes,’ Julian answered. ‘I quickly realised that while she loved me, she couldn’t choose me. Nothing will change that.’

Lily’s heart broke. Julian was still angry—she knew that much. He had accepted what had happened but he hadn’t moved on. No matter what he said. Because if he had, he would have love and a family. Friends beyond Henry.

‘She was as protective as she could be,’ he said. ‘But I don’t think she was terribly brave.’

No, because ‘brave’ to a little boy would mean a mother who would have picked him up and left that house. She must have been broken too if she’d thought she couldn’t leave. No one was at fault here except Julian’s stepfather.

Lily could only imagine what that must have done to Julian. For him to know every day that his mother couldn’t choose him. To know that he was too young or too weak to protect her, even though he’d tried.

He was quiet for a long time before he added, ‘It was my fault.’

‘What was?’

Her heart had almost stopped beating. Surely he couldn’t think he was to blame for what they had been through.

‘Her death. The abuse.’

‘No,’ Lily said firmly.

‘I could have found the money for my mother’s treatment...stood up to him sooner. I was capable. And I enjoyed putting him on his ass.’ Julian smiled but it was more a baring of teeth. ‘But I was filled with so much hate that I didn’t realise I could do it until it was too late.’

‘Julian...’ Her voice was strangled.

‘Was?’ He laughed out the word. ‘I still am full of hate.’

And Lily heard it then. Hate. Not just for his stepfather, but himself too.

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