Page 9 of Keep Me

I was only half conscious as I walked out of his office, but the next thing I knew I was in a bathroom, dry heaving into the toilet. Sweat poured off of me, cold and hot at the same time.

I had tried, and I had failed. My father was right.

I was a disgrace.

Chapter Six

I wasn’t sure how I found my way back to Requited, but soon enough I was standing before the entrance. I didn’t need to see myself to know I looked a mess, so I bypassed the club entirely, heading straight to the apartment. There was nothing I wanted more in that moment than a hot shower and to collapse in Reese’s arms. Not that he would let me.

The only reason he hadn’t pushed me away when I gave him a blowjob the other night was because he saw how desperate I was. It was sad and embarrassing, but God what I wouldn’t give to have his arms around me.

My suit lay crumpled on the bathroom floor, the fine fibers reduced to a messy pile. Hot water was a balm to the soul, and I let it sluice over my skin, warming my muscles enough to relax.

I stood under the water until steam had covered all the glass in the bathroom. The rough fabric of the towel felt good against my skin, and I rubbed at it till it began to sting. I stepped over my suit, leaving it in its pile, damp from the air and the water that had escaped the lining of the shower.

A chill clung to my skin as I made it to the bedroom, stopping only to pull on a pair of boxers to cover myself. The bed was softer than I remembered, and my eyes shut the moment I pressed against the sheets. A blissful quiet took over my mind, and I let myself succumb to the emptiness.

The hand that shook me awake was gentle and warm. I blinked up at Reese, his brow furrowed.

“Are you alright?” he asked, softly.

It only took me a moment to shake off the weight of sleep. “Of course,” I answered, shifting around until I was sitting up. “I had a headache, so I just shut my eyes for a moment and must have fallen asleep.”

Though it wasn’t something to be proud of, I knew I was a good liar. I had spent more years than I could count wearing a fake smile, pretending to be perfect. Even Oliver, the person who arguably knew me best, still had trouble telling what I really felt, so I was confident that I could hide myself from Reese. So then, why did he look at me like I was about to break?

He lifted his hand to caress my cheek, running his thumb beneath my eye. “Were you crying?”

An unbearable tightness snuck inside my chest. “No.” Reese was kind enough to ignore the way my voice shook as I answered him.

His dark eyes flicked between my own, searching for the secrets I held inside. The place where our skin met sparked, and I had to fight down the urge to lean into his touch.

He leaned away, taking his warmth with him. “We’ve had a request for a private show, but I should have turned them down; you deserve a break.”

I stopped him before he could rise from the bed. “Wait.” I didn’t need to know who requested the show, or what they wanted to see. Just the chance to feel him against me was enough. “I’ll do it.”

Reese waited while I prepared myself in the bathroom, then filled me in as we made our way to the second floor. There were only a few shows scheduled this month, and Reese and I had decided not to do any more before the auction to give ourselves a rest.

I didn’t care. I needed a distraction, though I knew this wasn’t a solution. Sex with the man I loved meant little when he didn’t love me back. At least this was something I could hold in my memories, another moment to return to in my dreams.

He stopped outside the door to one of the playrooms. “You don’t have to do this if you aren’t sure.” He shook his head. “I don’twantyou to do this if you aren’t sure.”

“I’m sure.”

Reese held my gaze for a few more seconds, trying to sneak through my guard. Eventually, he sighed. “Alright.”

Camila’s lips turned up in a smile as we walked in, as red as blood. “Hi, Logan.”

Chapter Seven

There were rules to our shows.

1) The scene would be planned and discussed before the show to ensure all parties were comfortable. If there was even the smallest hesitation the scene would be changed or scrapped completely. Consent and communication were non-negotiable.

2) The viewers would sit behind the one-way glass. This allowed a disconnect for greater safety for the performers and added privacy for the viewers.

3) Though general requests such as a theme or concept were allowed and encouraged, members were not given the option to select specific staff for the scene. Typically, the shows were scheduled and announced a month in advance, and all members of the club had a chance to sign up to watch. If they had requests, they could submit them to Katie, who would discuss them with Reese and the other staff.

The rules had been developed to prioritize the safety and respect of everyone involved, and they had served us well.

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