Page 53 of A Kiss at Midnight

Once this happens — my hypothetical shrink would probably call itclosure— I’ll be able to let her go and never think of her again. I needed to let her go last month in order to do what needed to be done... and in order to clear my conscience of what I already did to her.

I hadn’t realized how strong her impact on me was until I’d watched her walk away from me a month ago. The sick feeling in my gut should make me steer clear of ever seeing her again. Obviously, it hasn’t. I shouldn’t be playing with fire. But I’m a fool, just as so many men are when it comes to women.

My father sure as hell had been the biggest fool of them all, and his weakness for a woman had cost him his life... and traumatized his children in the process. I’ll never be as weak as my father. It’s why I’m determined to purge Jewel from my system, and purge her I will...whenI’m ready.

Still, a piece of me knows if I throw her away, it will ruin all of my chances of making any other relationships work. Or maybe both of us are simply fated for damnation. I’ll soon find out.

Chapter Review

Chapter Thirty

Jewel

I’m exhausted whenI get home. Work has been offering overtime for the past few weeks, and I need the money and have nothing else to do, so I’ve taken them up on it. This means all I do is work, eat, and sleep... and of course, see Justin on the weekends.

It hurts more each time I leave my brother. I can’t do it much longer. I’m going to save for another month or so, and if the court won’t give him to me, I’m taking him, and we’ll run away together. I don’t want to always be on the run, but if I have no other choice, that’s what I’ll do.

I’ve talked to a man for two weeks, and he seems more than willing to help me. I was sick to my stomach acting like a call girl, offering my body to him to come to court with me, to say we live together, and are in a happy relationship. I promised to do whatever it takes for my brother, and I mean it, I’ll dowhateverit takes.

Entering my apartment, the air shifts. Something’s off. I set my coat and bag down and slowly move forward, carefully walking down the hallway. The light is on in the room I’ve been using as a very sparse office; only a chair and small table are in there. I’m scared as I creep forward, thinking I must’ve left it on when I went to work this morning.

I’m wrong. I step inside... and freeze.

A man looking out the window takes his time turning, and the color drains from my face. I’d almost prefer some sadistic robber to be facing me instead ofhim. His eyes are hard and unreadable, his muscles tight. He looks ready to pounce, and my throat closes with nervous tension.

“Good evening, Jewel.”

Shock... fear... relief...

Whydo I feel relief? No. I don’t want Blake Astor here. Just the sound of his voice slams into my already fractured nerves, leaving me barely able to remain standing. I was with this man for weeks and barely survived the ups and downs. Why is he here now? He’s the one who told me to go.

Yet here he is, standing before me in all of his dark glory, his custom suit molded to his shoulders, his gray eyes boring into mine, his very presence overwhelming me, sucking all the air from the room where he seems so out of place. This place is elegant as sin, and the Blake Astors of the world live on a far higher level.

Without moving a muscle or saying a word, he commands this room... hell, any room he’s in... he also commands me — though I hope to the highest reaches of heaven that he isn’t aware of this. The man possesses raw power. He doesn’t need me to give him more.

When he takes a step toward me, I’m riveted to the floor. Every instinct tells me to run, that retreat is my only option. I thought I’d seen the last of him... I was obviously wrong.

As my heart continues to thud violently, I watch his slow and deliberate approach and wonder if I’ll pass out. That wouldn’t be surprising since I can’t seem to catch my breath.

When his eyes caress my body from the tips of my toes to what seems like every last strand of my hair, a shudder rolls through me. His expression should freeze me, but it does the opposite as I’m heated to my very core.

“Why are you here?”

His lips turn up in the tiniest of smiles as he invades my personal space, seeming to drain my very essence as he lifts a hand and runs a finger along my cheekbone. Looking into Blake’s eyes becomes way too much for me, and I briefly close my eyes as I breathe in and try to gain back some semblance of strength.

“May I offer you something to drink?”

It takes a moment for me to realize that someone else has entered the room. Opening my eyes, I turn to find an attractive woman in her early thirties wearing a neutral expression as she gazes between Blake and me.

“I... Where did you come from?” I ask.

“I hired her.” He turns to the woman. “No,” he says. “You’re dismissed for the evening, Elsa.” The woman turns and immediately disappears.

“Blake, I don’t understand,” I say, the shock beginning to wear off as agitation takes its place. “I have a strange woman mysteriously popping into my home, and you... and... I don’t understand,” I finish as I twist my fingers together.

“Let’s go sit down, Jewel.”

I wait for him to continue, and when he doesn’t, I turn and walk from the small room. I don’t want to be in here with him. I rush to the living room, but I don’t sit. I won’t be his puppet again.

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