Page 11 of Dirty Little Vow

He hesitates but ultimately, he walks away. I grab the bag of chocolate brownie coffee, get it brewing, and then love on Molly. Our pot brews super-fast, so I’ve barely had my fill of morning puppy-loving when it’s ready. I quickly doctor two cups the way we each like it, sample the product, and give it a thumbs up. With both mugs in hand, I seek out Tyler, finding him standing in the shower, water already off, with a towel wrapped around his waist. He’s speedy when he wants to be.

“Perfect timing,” I say, setting his cup on the counter.

He steps out onto the bathroom rug and grabs the cup, sipping. “It tastes like a brownie.”

“Yes, yes, it does. Do you like it?” A question I ask because he’s a basic grounds kind of guy.

“I actually do, but don’t tell anyone. It’ll ruin my bastard image.”

I push myself up and sit on the counter. “I think you did that when you announced you love me enough to marry me.”

My cellphone rings and I purse my lips. “Only my father or brother would call me this early. I’m guessing my father. He always forgets what time zone he’s in.” I rush to the bedside table and sure enough, it’s my father.

I’m up early enough to spend fifteen minutes chatting with him, and promising to bring Tyler to his upcoming expedition race in Dallas that was rescheduled. When we disconnect, I walk back into the bathroom to remind Tyler about the race, and when he’s not in the bathroom, I step into the closet doorway and say, “My dad’s really excited about you coming to his race and—” I freeze when I realize he’s fully dressed in one of his custom blue suits, but he’s sitting on the bench, head down, with his tie hanging loose.

Warnings go off in my head. I was right about the tension in his shoulders while he was at the kitchen counter this morning. Last night isn’t over. He still wants to leave. “What’s going on?” I ask, my throat raw, my words raspy.

He lifts his head, his blue eyes tormented by shadows, and says, “I’m looking forward to your father’s race, Bella.”

I blink, confused as heck right about now. “Those words don’t compute. Not when I found you like…this.What is going on?”

He uncurls his perfect body, standing, before he closes the space between us but he doesn’t touch me. His hands plant on the door trim on either side of me. I stand there, waiting for him to speak, studying the handsome, tightly drawn lines of his face and holding my breath. Seconds tick by and just like last night, I find myself pressing him. “Tyler?”

“I can’t shake the feeling I had last night, like something bad is going to happen. I’ve never had a gut feeling this strong that was wrong, but I also never thought I’d really be lucky enough to call you mine. Maybe it’s my fucked up past. You were able to experience your parents living a happy life together before your mother died. I only saw marginally suppressed anger in mine. If I’m being objective, it could just be that.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, because while I can guess, I want him to tell me what he feels. “Just bethat?”

“Maybe I don’t know how to be happy because until you, I’ve neverbeen happy. And I don’t want you—and us—taken away from me, and my instinct is to find a way to control that idea and stop it from happening.”

“And yet you wanted to leave last night?”

“I need to know you are on this Earth alive and well. That’s all that was.”

My heart squeezes with the roughly drawn words, and the sincere torment in his eyes. I step into him and catch the lapels of his jacket. “Leaving me isn’t the way to do that.”

“I was never going to leave you. Convince you to let me hide you away somewhere until this is over, yes, but not leave you.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Not to hide. Not to leave your side. I have a job. We have a life and a furry daughter.”

He cups my face and says, “I know we do. And I love this life with you, Bella.”

My hands go to his wrist. “Then just live inside it.”

“I’m trying. If I could just smash this feeling, I would be.”

“How about some whiskey in your coffee?”

His thumb strokes my cheek, a tender touch that leaves goosebumps on my skin. “If only it were that easy, baby.”

I don’t know what to say at this point. He’snotgoing to shake this, not overnight. Maybe not until this mess with the will is over. “I think our trip to see my father will be good for us both.” I catch his tie. “Let me do this for you.”

He gives a nod and I make fast work of perfecting his knot. I run my hand down the silk and then walk to his tie drawer to remove a pin. “How’d you learn to do that?”

I turn to find him beside me, and I fix the pin inside the silk. “My mom had lots of formal events and my dad could never get his tie right.”

“I really am looking forward to spending time with him.”

“As a bonus, it will be a good photo op and we are supposed to have a high-profile engagement.” I scrape my teeth on my lips and tilt my chin up to meet his stare. “For the record, I’d marry you today if we didn’t have to wait.”

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