Page 112 of The Otherworld

Orca stares at me, the look in her eyes so shattered and betrayed. “You were never going to come back, were you?”

The question hits me like an uppercut to the ribs. I don’t know what to say.

“Were you?” she repeats, battling back a sob.

“I don’t know, Orca. I never wanted to leave you in the first place, you know that. But… I didn’t want to make you choose between your father and me. I promised him I would respect his wishes, and—” I break off with a sigh, rubbing my forehead. “The truth is, I’m too old for you.”

“No, you’re not—”

“Yes, I am. You’re only eighteen, Orca, and I’m the first man you’ve ever met, for god’s sake. You have so much life to live. So much to learn and experience. Leaving you was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I knew it was the right thing. I knew you would forget me in time.”

Orca shakes her head. “You think I’m that feeble, I would give my heart to you and then forget about you? We must have very different definitions of the word love.”

“I do love you, Orca—”

“No! If you loved me, you wouldn’t want to take me back to the lighthouse.”

“It’s because I love you that I want to take you back. Because I know you’ll regret this decision one day, and by then, it may be too late to mend this bridge between you and your father.”

“Well, maybe it’s his job to mend it!” Orca argues. “I’ve done everything I can to make him happy, and all he’s ever done is tell me what I can’t do. And you’re no better—you sound just like him. Telling me that I’m too young, too much of a child to make my own decisions.”

I reach for her hand. “Orca—”

“No.” She pulls away, her cheeks flushed with righteous anger. “Jack understands me. He’s the only one who truly cares about what I want.”

It’s just her anger talking; I know that. But it still feels like a knife in the back.

With that, she turns away from me, hurrying across the driveway and up the porch steps. She hesitates at the door and glances back for the briefest moment—a beautiful silhouette against an orange rectangle of light. Then she vanishes inside, leaving me alone in the darkness.

37

The List

ORCA

“Orca? Are you okay?” Jack looks worried when I return to the kitchen, my face hot and my heart pounding.

No, I want to say, I’m not okay. But I manage another white lie—rubbing my temples and sighing. “The truth is, my head is splitting. It’s been a long day. I hope you won’t mind if I go to bed early.”

“Course I don’t mind,” Jack says, getting to his feet to look at me, something honest and searching in his eyes. “You sure you’re all right?”

I nod stiffly, fighting back the tears. “I’ll be fine if I can just lie down.”

Mrs. Stevenson shows me to the guest room and encourages me to holler if I need anything. I manage to smile gratefully and thank her for her hospitality—but as soon as she leaves the room, I collapse into tears.

Oh, Adam.

I imagined our reunion a hundred times, and none of my dreams looked like this. Adam was supposed to run to me, embrace me, and tell me how much he missed me. He was supposed to sweep me off my feet and kiss me. He was supposed to say, I’m never going to leave you again.

But he has done the opposite—insisting that he fly me back home tomorrow, that I make things right with Papa. Insisting that we can’t be together because he’s too old and I’m too young, too inexperienced to make my own decisions.

Within the span of a few minutes, he crushed all my dreams to dust.

Tears rush down my cheeks as I change into my nightgown and crawl into bed. I lie in the dark for a long time, replaying our conversation over and over again in my mind.

Adam may be ten years older than me, but that doesn’t make him smarter in every way. He may be more experienced, but that doesn’t mean he knows what’s best for me. How could he? He doesn’t know what it’s like to be me. Nobody but Jack seems to understand.

He’s the only one who truly cares about what I want.

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