Page 82 of The Sins of Noelle

"I'm really, really sorry," she said once more as she dragged the blade across the thick hide of the bear, pushing with all her strength so she could cut his throat in one smooth line—not small, jagged ones that would prolong his pain.

It felt like an eternity before she finished it, blood flowing down his body and onto her hands.

Suddenly, she removed her gloves, throwing them to the ground. She brought her bare hands against his furry body, soaking in the blood and saying a small prayer—one accompanied by the sincerest apology.

Shewassorry. Her heart was breaking just looking at the bloody display. But it was the order of nature.

There was predator, and there was prey. And Noelle resolved toneverbe the prey.

"I'll always choose myself," she whispered, her eyes fixed to the red liquid still flowing from the bear's neck.

Before she knew what she was doing, both her hands reached for the bleeding wound. Palms open, she splayed them on top of the blood, moving them around until the entire surface of her hand was covered in the viscous substance.

Lifting them to her face, she inhaled deeply. First, she smelled it. Then, she tasted it, a tangy, metallic flavor that made her grimace. At last, she brought them to her cheeks, covering herself in it—his essence.

She truly did not know what had come over her, only that in some odd, obscure way, she was paying homage to the bear. And the more she stained herself with his life's essence, the more she understood him, and her thirst for life.

Noelle didn't want tojustsurvive. She wanted tolive.

"Noelle!" someone shouted her name, the sound coming closer and closer.

Like in a trance, she didn't realize her brother had reached her side until he grasped her shoulders, shaking her thoroughly in an attempt to snap her out of it.

"Noelle, answer me, damn it," Cisco demanded.

Blinking, she slowly brought herself back to the present. Back to the fact that she was still alive and well. She'd survived.

Next, she would live.

"I'm fine," she replied, giving him an odd smile.

Cisco, for his part, could not believe his eyes. After he'd heard the consecutive gunshots, he'd worried something might have happened to her and he'd run towards the direction she'd taken. All the while, he'd beaten himself for allowing her to go alone when he should have kept her firmly at his side.

Still, nothing would have prepared him for the sight before him.

Noelle, in all her bloody glory next to a fallen bear.

She'd killed a fucking bear.

And Cisco did not know what to make of it—of her. He couldn't read, nor understand her, but he knew something was wrong.

The following morning at dawn, Cisco and Valerius went out on their excursion, leaving Noelle at the cabin with Yuyu.

After they'd returned from the hunt, Yuyu had taken a good look at the state Noelle had been in and at her husband's grim expression, and she'd understood something must have happened. She'd only heard the particularities later, when she'd been presented with the evidence of their hunt. Rabbit and…bear. And upon hearing the details, she couldn't help but worry about Noelle.

Though they'd initially orchestrated the getaway to have a chat with Noelle, Yuyu would have never thought she'd have to talk to her about…killing a bear.

With how small Noelle was, she just couldn't picture it.

"You should have woken me," Noelle suddenly said, interrupting Yuyu from her cooking.

"I wanted to let you sleep in after what happened yesterday," Yuyu smiled at her, inviting her to take a seat next to her.

"Let me help you," Noelle immediately offered, washing her hands before taking a piece of meat and emulating Yuyu's movements with the knife.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Yuyu asked, wanting to make sure.

After Noelle had washed the blood from her face, she'd suddenly made the excuse that she was too tired and had gone to sleep. That in itself had worried Yuyu even more considering how excited Noelle had been about everything—including thepreparationof the meat.

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